I don't know what to do anymore...I'm just stuck in this hollow outlook...I feel like an idiot for becoming how I am now, the signs were there but i just thought i was sad and perhaps it was me being sad but it developed into more as i got older. I'm 17 and so many times i said I'd never see 18 and I'm scared about what will happen if i have a failed attempt than me actually dying. I feel selfish but also so alone and I've kept this all hidden so well, i have everyone fooled. I just want this to end. Sorry for the rant lol..