Just wanna die but don't want to kill myself. Everything I do in my life, I feel like it doesn't matter to anyone. Also I think whatever Im doing is not going to affect this world, so whats the purpose of living this worthless life. I always get thoughts like one day we all going to die then why not toady. But family is the main reason Im still alive and get little bit motivation. Just fyi I did not try to attempt suicide nor once.