do you want someone who would listen to you or you wanna to share your story
darksparkling26
I want to feel normal... I don't know what all I want.. I just want my mind to stop running, my heart to stop drowning..
shivang
what happened?
darksparkling26
1
too much.. it's not a one day incident.. it's all piled up... and now I am drowning cz I can't lift this baggage anymore...
shivang
well start your story right from the beginning so I can understand what causes this messed up problem
shivang
hello 👋
darksparkling26
Loosing my father, getting harassment as a kid, being a victim of other parent's frustration.. getting physically beaten up every single day, getting abused for no fault of mine, no scoring well in school, having no friends cz I don't know how to make any... from suppressing my feelings and emotions to crying all alone... staying quiet about everything cz I was always scared... devoid of love and affection.. I don't even know how feeling special feels like.. and the string continues... It's the same story, nobody knows how and what I feel within
darksparkling26
I don't remember how it feels to be genuinely happy, I don't talk anymore, I don't laugh.. I have lost interest in everything...
shivang
what's your age?
darksparkling26
30
shivang
look I get it, life has been too hard on you.
shivang
but their some things you can do
darksparkling26
1
I am a strong girl, I have dealt with all of it and kept my head held high.. but now it's like my soul is tired.. you know, people use me a lot, I am very emotional, and that makes it easier for everyone to use me and just throw as pretend as if I never existed
darksparkling26
1
i have been doing everything... therapy, distraction.. I am a doctor myself... and I kept myself indulged amd practiced every thing... but I can't run away from the fact that I am so broken... and nothing seems to fix this broken soul
shivang
did you try to help those people who are just like you?
darksparkling26
1
i do that all the time... and funny part is, that such people just tend to walk away once they are "fixed"
shivang
1
I mean on personal level
darksparkling26
1
I created a barrier and then people try to break that barrier and say all the good things and when I finally open up to them, they make me regret that decision... it's suffocating... everything is so suffocating
darksparkling26
1
i have, on personal level, have gone beyond my capability too ...
shivang
good things are just sweet lie nothing more
darksparkling26
I can't live like this.. I just can't...
shivang
wait wait
shivang
hold on
shivang
why don't you try to reform yourself?
shivang
Hello 👋
darksparkling26
1
I just want to be appreciated.. I can't handle this any more..
darksparkling26
1
it's like everything inside me is crying and screaming..
shivang
hello
shivang
@darmspakling26 learn about nishkaak karm yog, doctor
darksparkling26
1
okay, I will.. thank you for listening to me last night .. I was not in a great place.. thank you so much
shivang
welcome
shivang
well I am strongly suggesting you to learn about nishkaam karmyog. it will really help you