why do I have to feel this way? it's been so long and I just try so hard to be happy but I'm not, my life sucks. I laugh and smile but it's never real. I just can't bear this anymore. It hurts so much. I thought maybe if I'll share my problems with anyone it'll get better, so I did but dude no one gives a fuck. They just pretend to care. I know we shouldn't depend on anyone we should take care of ourselves, believe me I have been taking care of myself since so long, I can't anymore. I want to be happy again, and it feels like if the guy I love don't come back I'm never gonna be happy again, it's not all about a stupid boy. I think all my friends are fake... dude they just make me feel worse. I feel like there is no one who's ever gonna love me. I'm not capable of love. I'm messed up, that's why people always leave me. everyone leaves me. I don't want to be like this, I really need someone right now or I'll just end it. I need love and care. I try to hang on a little more every day.