hi, I had made a blunder in the tasks given to me unknowingly and that may effect other ongoing tasks of other people in my office..it has been 4 month's only in my new company and today I have to tell this blunder to some senior person..and I guess I will come in highlights for layoff as I haven't completed 6 months of probation yet..so to punish myself I am going to do something today with me sexually which will deteriorate my inner self esteem and confidence more so that I can become calm after punishing myself...that's the only way..how hard I try to go up but I keep doing silly mistakes at work so I deserve to get punished and I know I can do this only by doing what I fear of doing sexually.. which can give me pain physically and mentally with the help of some other person