I had prepared really hard for an exam for which I gave up my social life, my hobbies, my relationship in just a hope that all the hard work I do will help my family and will patch up a lot of old scars that I have in my life. It was the only piece of hope and I put all my bets and hardwork into it. I wanted to get a good rank in the exam in order to get in a good college and help my family. However, the thing blew up so hard that I couldn't even pass. Now I don't have a job, can't support my family and my parents say that I wasn't upto the mark that's why I failed. For my whole life J haven't seen a single win. No matter how much I work hard I always fail. I feel like a failure and I feel guilty for having aspirations in life. It feels as if I should have done a mediocre job, for there for 40 years of my life and then die in an unnamed grave. I doubt my decisions and I feel afraid of failing and feel afraid of trying again. This exam was a way of success for rest but survival for me