You should definitely seek pyscholygist help and keep your mind engaged in any other things that distract you

thank you for your advice, but I'm too ashamed to go to a psychologist, this is as far as I can go

No one will judge you wrong, everyone have thier positive and negative, you are accepting your mistake and trying to come out of it. So don't have to hesitate to share it with person who can help you. They won't share it to any other persons

I'm sorry but I really can't do that, I don't have the self-esteem to do it.

I can relate to you. I am also addicted to masturbating and for me my drug would be depressions and stress and anxiety disorder. But I found that when I begin to interact with socialising with others in different topics like sports, anime or anything that well has nothing to do with reminding me of my loneliness than I forget to masturbate but I have triggers like certain movies or images that are entirely not porn but portray a sexual scene or image I tend to loose it. so now every time I come across things that I know will trigger my lust I tend to ignore it. Btw being in a loving environment will definitely clear you mind up. but remember your in charge of your own happiness.

begin to tell yourself everyday that your important because you are. You've made it this far so why not. and so what your not like everyone else who is perfect in this world anyway. Take deep breaths and let the pain out.

are you staying alone?

I can suggest you on this, How about reading a book? Idk if you have any hobbies of reading- Try Jordan peterson and eckhart tolle, before you think that they aren't in this field or so, their teachings impact every aspect of life. Psychology alone cannot handle all such issues. It's deeper than it. spiritual, emotional etc. I hope you get well soon.

because ur mind is so use to u thinking tht way thts way u keep having those thoughts u have to change ur mindset completely if u truly wanna stop u be tempted alot because ur so used to doing it change take time n u keep feeding it so u keep losing to those thoughts