i feel like i am losing my mind. i can not embody myself. i cannot talk or express my truth. i am severely socially and experientially underdeveloped for my age (21). i cannot engage in relationships. i am stuck. i do not know how to feel ok and communicate even though what i am internally is beautiful. i know this. i am an artist and have good taste and sensibility and intelligence. but i am too depressed anxious deluded and confused to do anything with it. i dissociate a lot. compulsively and dangerously. my memory is so weak. i am disoriented all the time. my perception of reality changes all the time. constantly. i feel fear and shame all the time.