You are your best version, you just need to have acceptance towards yourself.

first try to understand why it makes you insecure around them. are you scared to say something stupid or them leaving you? this has happened with me and I still have to live with it but those friends aren't worth it. you said yours are since u were 10. talk to them get close share your insecurities with them and if you feel they don't care about it, then Im sorry but they don't deserve you

i had the same problem. it's just because of self esteem,lack of confidence,complex,ego.. you have let go these things... self love and confidence is the key

I know that happens it normal !!!but I think u tried your best and u stepped out of your comfort zone ...itz normal to think what others think about us . but itz not like how we think, they don't really care about us ..I hope you keep urself engaged in things like books ,meditation,maybe shows,kdrama etc u r thinking to much because that's the only think u think but if u divert ur mind , the things which was a big deal won't be one anymore .......

find your passion,work on them,meditate,read, break your comfort zone,try to talk in full confidence,,also you can refer YouTube as well

Trust me when I say I know exactly how you feel. I remember having a similar situation when I was out with 2 of my best friends and out of nowhere this.. thing hit me and left me feeling so empty and nervous. I'm saying this from experience, that this feeling, it will come and it will go away. you have to give it time. acknowledge it, say oh we are like this today? hmm no worries let's see how it goes. talk to yourself like you would to a dear friend. Overthinking opens a dark door that will only do more harm than good. I know it is hard. You'll experience a lot of new things and emotions, not everything will make sense, but that doesn't always have to be a bad thing. You are still growing, evolving, so there will be some minor glitches in life, but don't be scared. It happens. Try to know yourself more as you keep growing. I hope this helps. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need to talk ❤️

thanks

I know it sounds extremely cliche but confidence is the key. now from my personal experience, growing up I've seen alot of girls and guys who weren't conventionally good looking or good-looking according to the societal standards but they were the shit because they were confident about themselves. once you start being confident everybody will start getting intimidated by you (in a good way)