Is it ok if i not share? or is it cheating?

Question

I am 31 yr old. my BF is not giving commitment, nor he wants to break up. but he keeps on asking me my marriage process on every call. hows the guy I met, what all we did. He asks, I tell, then we both get sad. He ignores me for couple of days, meanwhile i cry. then again everything repeats. 😒😒

happyguy12 · Answer

wdym by marriage processes? are your parents searching a guy for your marriage?

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

yes. badly. its torture to listen their taunts.

happyguy12 · Answer

are they against love marriage?

happyguy12 · Answer

did you ever ask ur bf whether he wants to marry you or not? i mean there must be some reason as to why he isn't giving the commitment, did u try to know that from him?

excitedTomatoe7 · Answer

What's the point of having a relationship if you're not thinking of marrying that person? Do you think either of you will be able to live without each other if you get married?

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

no parents are not against, they just want me to get married somewhere. bf is not ready.

happyguy12 · Answer

did u ask him the reason behind it?

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

he is 28 now & very mature. he has gone abroad for higher studies. he says I love you bt cant give any commitment of future

happyguy12 · Answer

no no what i m asking is the reason behind it? is it because of his studies or career plan or anything like that?

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

@happyguy ..his career plan mostly. he isnt saying it clearly, but i think he is looking down on me. my age, issues at home, alcoholic brother, low payment job, etc...

happyguy12 · Answer

whatever maybe ur personal issues , if he cant accept u the way u r then there is no point in staying together. how long have u two been dating?

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

after his masters in Dubai, he has already fixed a job in usa with good salary. he was very proud of that. and why shouldn't he be? maybe thats why he thinks i dont suit him.

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

@happyguy.. we were friends for 2 yrs, all while he was asking me out. then after that we dated 6 months.

happyguy12 · Answer

aah okay. see if whatever u telling is the actual reason behind him not giving any commitment then u need to breakup with him. there is absolutely no point in staying eith someone who cant accept u the way u r . let him go and live his life and u do the same . however before doing this. ,have a clear and honest conversation with him regarding this . tell him what u feel and see what he says

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

I did.. i did ask him out for marriage, he said not in condition to ans. I asked do you want me to wait, he refused. can I see arrange marriage proposals? he said yes you can.

happyguy12 · Answer

then he is clearly giving out the hints that he doesn't want to marry u . according to me, its best if u breakup with him and take ur time  to move on.  ans after that go on with the arrange marriage proposals

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

then when i actually started meeting a guy, who to my luck was better than him and he knows this, then he kind of got jealous & hurt & bad trip & what not, then he started thinking about marrying me. but just thinking, his final ans is still no.

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

he says pls dont break up, i will get hurt, it will disturb my studies. at least stay friends, stay in contact, but then he sends me love text, nudes, asks for it, how am I supposed to concentrate on the other guy? if I lose this proposal, i might not get any good partner later.

happyguy12 · Answer

he doesnt want to lose u on one hand and on the other hand he isnt ready to commit to u.  now you tell me , what do u think should be your next step?

happyguy12 · Answer

dont u think staying in contact with him is not only going to take a toll on ur mental health but also on ur relationship with this new guy?

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

@happyguy.. exactly. and there's one more to it. He specifically doesn't want me to marry that one guy. Because he is damn jealous of him. He is way better than my bf.

happyguy12 · Answer

why do you care about whom he wants you to marry or not? it's your future, it's ok your own hand. breakup with him, give urself the time you need to move on and then go on with this new guy

happyguy12 · Answer

in*

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

yes. it is taking toll on my new relation. its not fixed yet, but we are trying to understand eachother. and then i have updated that to bf and he judges me.

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

Because i hd hope, my bf will some day yes. All attachment of 6 months in waste. He was loyal all time, took care, n really loved me.

happyguy12 · Answer

i can understand what u feel but there is you two have no future together. it will be better for u if u can focus on this new guy and understand each other properly.

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

I will tell you cherry on top - Guy i am meeting is my bf's, best friend's elder brother. And only my bf & i know this connection. the guy is unaware. I am worried he should not ruin my future out of jealousy.

happyguy12 · Answer

if u think u want to be serious with this new guy, let him know about this. dont hurt him in the process, you will end up losing both. also your bf won't be able to ruin anything if u get 100% honest with this new guy and don't hide anything from him

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

yes this makes sense.. i will talk to this new guy. good i shared it here, i got my ans while typing too. otherwise I was constantly thinking that i am cheating or hurting him.

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

yes will tell this new guy, later some day when things get final. for now i will tell my bf to keep some distance for few days atleast. and concentrate on this guy.

happyguy12 · Answer

no u are not cheating, u need to vent ur feelings in order to feel a little better and get answers to ur question

happyguy12 · Answer

yes, try to cut off all contact with ur bf for the time being and focus on this new guy. later on u can still remain friends with ur bf

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

yes. thank you 😇😇 felt much better now. vision cleared.

Recovering_babe · Answer

what is his economic situation?

Heretofeelbetter · Answer

hes is well to do family. still he works hard and earns for himself.

I am not fit for anyone

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