I don’t think it’s right, you should communicate about your expectations with your partner. Cheating should never be an option.

I really have tried communicating with my partner. He clearly feels stressed and feels he is being loaded with lots of tasks. He is unable to do them out of love. Love doesn't come naturally to him I guess. he has also expressed that he feels stressed when he is required to do all that

@shreya12 may be emotional bond is missing between you and your husband....for some people it becomes difficult to be physical without getting emotionally attached.. which types of tasks does he feel loaded with

maybe all you need is some support

hi actually when I wrote this comment, my husband was behaving very abnormally disconnected with me. he didn't express anything and suddenly stopped all communication. actually he has a fertility issue because of which we aren't getting pregnant and our arranged marriage is suffering. instead of going to the doctor, he looks for ways to hide and escape from the problem for as long as possible. but now our families spoke and he has to go for a proper treatment according to our families. only then we will proceed in this marriage. you may ask me, what's the need of a child. he is not a person to be loving and caring naturally. he doesn't want to go out or even spend happy times with me. so I see child as an emotional support and a reason to stay in this marriage. now after the lates development, we r living under the same roof with his family and he is going for medical consultations. he is being fine with me. looks like he wants to somehow continue this relationship and is working for it

this is common issue Shreya.. great u come up openly on this... happening with me as well... #relatable

it's complex.. he seems to be loving. I don't have a real reason to cheat on him other than one thing. he has a fertility issue and I have been waiting since very long to become pregnant. he is finally willing to go to doctor and do whatever that is required. but I want to try sperm donor option because it's been very long since we are trying and I feel I am losing time as well. my clock is ticking as well. but he is not ready for sperm donor option. I wish that he would agree for sperm donor for the first child. I am willing to keep it as a secret between us and never disclose to anybody. I am just hoping that he understands me as well and goes for the sperm donor option for our first child.

no no better don't go for that option... try to meet with gynaecologist try to do accordingly as per her advise.. may i know how long u r married...

5 + years since I am married

go for gynaecologist .. she will definitely help you.. there are many of my friend that had a same issue.. and with the help of Dr they are now cured..

it's not gynea problem. its andrology problem. many gynecologists have said many times that I don't have an issue. my husband has the issue. and each time I have to wait for 6 months to get some solution only to find that the problem was not correctly diagnosed. we end up going to a new doctor for male fertility every 6 months.

also I am 30+ now. Doctors are saying it's high time to get pregnant now else I will lose time and develop complications. I am suggesting my husband to go for sperm donor for the first child but he is extremely reluctant and doesn't try to understand the situation from my point of view. what should I do? Am I expecting a lot ?

see it happens with male... becusse their ego doesn't allow them.. is he doesn't want to have baby or like what ? ..if he is willing then he should definately take medication process

no he wants to have baby. he is ready to go for vericocele surgery as suggested by the doctor now. but he wishes to get me pregnant only using his sperms which may take a long time . he is ok for IUI or IVF but it wil take min 6 months before we try those procedures because of his medical situation

ok and u want to go with sperm donor procedure.

yes I wish to use my fertile months and time and try sperm donor and get pregnant with the first baby. the second baby can be with his sperms.. I really think instead of wasting more and more my time. I want to get pregnant in this period while my husband is recovering

yes from your point of view u r perfectly thinking in correct way.. but you know what male ego will allow your husband to do so... keep trying to make your husband.. and yes you can keep this as secret

anumitv thanks a lot but I didn't get your suggestion. pls tell me what should I do

should I go for sperm donor and keep it as secret from husband or should I try to pursue him and hope he understands. what is the right thing to do

hey Shreya, suggestion of extra marital affair ?

no no if u ll go for that your husband will anyhow will knew about it.. so don't keep secret with your hubby better you make him understand which is right at this point of time

hmm extra marital affair is a messy thing. I don't wish to betray him. rather I feel it's better to hide and do sperm donor instead of sleeping with someone else. I wish I can convince him for donor as you are suggesting. just wish me luck. and hope he understands the need of the hour

yes yes all d vey best to u... and i hope he will be convinced and soon u will give us a cut Lil baby...

thank you so much anumitv 😘😘 I really want to keep u updated with the proceedings. if it's positive

yes sure... undisputed_world

It's going to be so difficult to make him understand the need of sperm donor now. especially when he is so inclined to his family. he doesn't take any decision outside them. Pls suggest how to make any Indian man agree to this. I am so stuck

tell him that this is one of the important aspect of both our life and if we have not given attention to this issue then may be in future we will not be able to deliver baby... so make him understand how important in someone's s life to have a baby...

give him some example where people suffered issues with same problem

I am a person who believes in immediately conveying something. but now time is testig me soo much. I am required to have so much patience and have to come up with a way of expressing this

ohhh.. you should change yourself a bit else u will face issues... you need to have more patience and please be calm..

yes truly.. thank u so much anumitv.

hi Shreya i can see u r too active on this platform.. do u here to get support or also too support people

both actually anumitv 😊 I am very active today after a long time since I got so much support from you, I have found the energy and strength to give some support to people .all thanks to you 😇

haha. yes it happens. we join here to get support here but eventually we feel there are many people in the world who are also facing same issue which u r....

yes Its beautiful to give and take support. I wish what you suggested for me works out in my life... I am so tensed about facing my husband with this thing that I am digging myself in my phone more today 😜 he is just so old school 🏫🏫

yes what is found the most easy but important aspect is to keep yourself busy and into the things so that u don't feel that pain a lot...

wym by old school ??

I mean to say that his thinking is very conventional or old types. His acceptance level with latest medical or trends is quite low. so it's Lil difficult to get him into my track

oh then it would be difficult to make him understand... and Shreya how long u r in this platform??

since a month I am here

yes I have tried once and failed terribly to make him understand this. seriously his old thinking is a big problem

yes It's not a problem if you choose to let people know who exactly you are. it's your choice.

you won't be banned obviously 😂. but people choose to not reveal themselves because then they can ask all sorts of questions

yes that's correct.. no one going to judge you..

I have insta. but I hardly use it. we can connect there surely but

no problem.. it's fine .

there is no option of directly chatting right in this app ?

no there is no any option... that's what the concern is..

I joined this app and this was my first question 😃. I was very worried at this time last month.

Which country are you from anumitv?

from which u r...

why was this your first question?? it gives quite privacy right where we can talk like anything...

yes i have..

yes I was worried and this being an anonymous platform, I asked my question plain and raw 😊

I am from India and u?

yes india only

no don't worry. this is a platform purely for giving and finding help. no one gets banned here

no don't worry

hope so 🙏

what do you do ? I M working as IT professional

you married ? sorry just curious to know how you are soo smart 😊

Finding people like you gives more strength and confidence in life. I feel better knowing that you think my perspective is right and there is some hope in talking to my husband about this 😊

will catch you in sometime anumitv. going out on some work