Issue in family

Question

Hi all. I usually don't share something like this on these platforms but now it's taking toll on my mental health. My mom dad were married for 21 years. Honestly it was a toxic marriage. Those domestic skirmishes used to happen on a daily basis. Now me and mom discovers that he is having an extra marital affair. My mom cried a lot and honestly it killed me from inside. I love her to death. She has suffered a lot in her life. But he treats her like shit. He is not even ready to give her divorce. He said that new lady will be an additional part of our family. He is planning to get married with her too at this age of 50. I feel really helpless please tell me what should I do. I find it a torture to stay with him. He is killing me and mom with his behaviour.

wolfy · Answer

Hey. A marriage should be between two persons who love and respect each other. I think it will be really hard for your mom, but I do think it is her time to  make a divorce. She have evidence of his misbehaviour and cheating, so she does not need anything else to file papers. It is better to divorce and have two years of stress (usually it takes cca 2 years to make new life), then to live unhappy ever after. Being alone is better than being in bad company. No one deserves to be treated like that. It is important to realize that you can get another life even with 50s. You and your mom should find a lawyer and ask what is the procedure. It is not a shame to make a divorce. A shame is to ignore the reality. Good luck.

f_yal · Answer

Involved extended family and sort it out. It can go on like this and it's not healthy for you both

aloofGelding4 · Answer

Thanks a lot. You know he is saying that I've been mistreated a lot by her family. Still I managed to support you all. Now can't you respect my little decision if it can bring me happiness. She will be supportive to you too

aloofGelding4 · Answer

Basically he is saying that he loves my mom too but that lady (his extra marital affa). She has been waiting for him for like 10 years. Now he wants her but at the same time he wants my mom too

rkaka · Answer

I can understand that it must be really difficult for you but have you personally trued talking toy our dad that how it is going to affect you and your relationship with him?

excitedTomatoe7 · Answer

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Is there anyway you could talk to your father about how it's been affecting you and your mother? Or you could ask a close relative to intervene. Going the legal way may consume a lot of time and energy. It is, of course the last resort, but if communication can mend things then why not. I hope you find peace at home 😊

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