Everyday as the days are passing I am starting to realise that I am better off dead. My existence has no value, I am just a name. I hope that I die and don't see the sunrise. Things are so distrubing in life, so gloomy, so hectic. I can't deal with anything anymore. I don't have that capacity in me anymore. Everytime I think I want to change my life it takes a drastic turn. I can't anymore, I seriously can't.....I ..... tired of it. I am a student and just want to disappear. I am so done with pretending to be happy and cheerful when I am dying from inside. My heart aches, everything brings only pain to me.