that looks like a great way to cope rather than bottling up and explode one day
unhappytomatoe0
Yeah, because I'm afraid of being judged, especially after what I been through. Slowly I'm not sure of myself, if I'm being overreacting or not. That's how I started.
YoucancallmeSnow
same..I'm here doing shit post because I don't want to be judged by people I know...
YoucancallmeSnow
so all my life i have known my country in particular is a bit old fashion so they don't believe in mental health (mental health have a very heavy stigma) so I'm scared to reveal all these dark thoughts I have...
unhappytomatoe0
I'm strongly agree with that, because being judged is one of my fear, especially when overwhelming.
YoucancallmeSnow
it's frown upon to be so dramatic like myself so I faked every day like I have no problems and laugh it all hoping it will all go away
YoucancallmeSnow
same I'm easily overwhelmed
YoucancallmeSnow
I have exploded once in a panic attack suddenly from bottling up at the place I intern in to this day it's still so embarrassing to remember...
YoucancallmeSnow
I intern for 6 months there
unhappytomatoe0
Yeah I started to fake it when I once had told someone that I'm very stress that I don't want to go out, then they reply with "It's not like you have to stress over something,"
YoucancallmeSnow
pls this is so relatable 😭
YoucancallmeSnow
I'm a very privileged person so I feel like an grateful spoiled brat when I'm like this why am I like this
YoucancallmeSnow
like "there's nothing to be stress about girl get over yourself" is what I told myself every day
unhappytomatoe0
I could feel that one, cause sometimes from different perspective, it's embarrassing, some even feel pity or guilty. But it's really embarrassing from our perspective cause the spot light is on us.
YoucancallmeSnow
I literally hate myself so much my self esteem is deeply buried and burn to ash under the ground
unhappytomatoe0
It's also what I often told myself, to be honest. But then I realized something change with me, that's when I start to try to pick myself up slowly.
unhappytomatoe0
Yeah, I also have low self-esteem, I might not seem like it, but I have to keep my cool expression.
YoucancallmeSnow
people always see me as easy going, lack motivation, and lazy but confident enough but the real me is just a pathetic coward hiding in the shell of it
unhappytomatoe0
I started to have low self-esteem because of certain people voice is kinda scaring me. Soon after I look like a lazy person that doesn't want to do anything. Some people also started not to believe me, saying that I'm copying and stuff, no matter what I show them, there will be a person show up like that.
YoucancallmeSnow
okay but the lazy part is a true tho because my motto is "don't run when you can walk, don't walk when you can stand, don't stand when you can sit, don't sit when you can lie down" also humans are inherently lazy by nature we don't do more than it is nessecary.
YoucancallmeSnow
I also get agitated with crowds and noises...
YoucancallmeSnow
btw we are quite similar want to be friends? if you don't mind staying in touch of course...
unhappytomatoe0
Yeah agree, that's also one of problem I have, I want to change because I'm dreaming to marry someone even if it was still long journey for me. I want to keep motivates myself to keep breathing.
unhappytomatoe0
Yeah of course I would like too.
YoucancallmeSnow
I see good luck it's good to have a goal you want to reach and chase
YoucancallmeSnow
do you use discord? or instagram?
unhappytomatoe0
Thank you.
unhappytomatoe0
Yeah I use both, but I prefer discord, do you mind?
YoucancallmeSnow
nope
YoucancallmeSnow
what's your username?
unhappytomatoe0
Mine is TheLonely #9636
YoucancallmeSnow
message me
YoucancallmeSnow
my friend req fail for some reason
unhappytomatoe0
Yeah same, I already try multiple times
YoucancallmeSnow
why tho?
YoucancallmeSnow
this is a sad Day
YoucancallmeSnow
it's raining too
unhappytomatoe0
I'm not quite sure why, should we try to contact from different place?
