you don not owe anything to anyone. listen to your feelings. they will guide you to a solution. What do YOU want to do?

Hey! Thanks for reaching out. I am sorry for your loss it must be devastating. Everyone needs a friend at this time. What is the problem with meeting your friend?

@zoya Ahmad The problem is my family feels she is a bad company and that why i didnt lead proper family life as they felt i was concentrating more on her and she was hypontising me😂After many years of friendship with her i got feelings towards her and i conveyed it also to her just a year back. she tried to make me understand its bcos i carve for love and affection i m getting this feelings only towards her and she said she will try to bring me out of these thoughts. all of sudden she met with accident and her parents read msg based on this and i too conveyed my parents but my husband didnt knew. After all this her family and my family werent fine in we spking.. But within few months as my husband died her parents are ok in we contacting through phone now and thn but not meeting still my family isnt fine in spking to her. i find really difficult without seeing her and miss those days were we were spending lot of time together.. i cn understand the reality but not able to accept it.. i feeling wanting of those days bck terriblily especially after getting to know my husband was cheating and thats why e didnt show interest towards me and e was blaming me..i hd bn true evn dis kind of thought itself i felt is like cheating and also wanted to convey him as this was the scenario im going through in a right time.evn wen our families werent fine in we spking we nvr lost the connection, we were there for each other in all the times atleast thru phone till now.. but not able to see or b bck to old days is disturbing a lot.. i dono the way im thinking is right or wrong or how to come out of it.. i hv lot more than dis in my life to be done and y im behind her wen i hv other big responsiblities and at the end how to come out of dis lonliness

I am sure this must be taking a toll on your mental health, but you definitely need company at this point in time. Why do you think the responsibilities can't be managed with this relationship?

There is lot to be said about us and our complications and in dat one is family members are against. im not knowing how to manage this relationship as im actually confused with my sexual identity and she is busy with her career and life. i dont want to ruin that. sometime i feel it would b btr for her life if i stay away.. always having mixed emotions and feelings towards her. and all these thoughts giving me much time to think about my responsibilities.

I think you should talk to her once. Ask about what’s her opinion, you being in her life wouldn’t create any hurdle in her career.