I am experiencing anxiety from so many years, there are so many reasons behind it and mostly it is past unprocessed trauma and health issues. I have been depressed for 6 months in 2014 and for another in 2016 and i didn't take any help because my family doesn't believe in such kind of thing like anxiety and depression. So i just suffered and came out fine but i get triggered by those life events again and again. I am not sure if i am depressed now but i know i am anxious all the time, even writing this feels like a task. I feel ugly, failure and burden to my family and friends, i don't want to end life because it's painful and maybe somewhere i have will to live but i also know i wouldn't think twice before gulping painless poison. I should not think about that now. I have my senses in control yet i fear myself of what i might do. I have so many problems which is hard for me to list here else this post won't end. I can only tell that i've tried everything that i can like changing my diet, going for walk, and talking to friends but nothing helps and nobody cares..i only have me and nothing else and i don't know when it will end.. and i don't want to be a weak person who suffers mental illness but all these years i denied all my symptoms and now i am on edge.