my depression type.

Question

okay so I'm in depression due to family fights, sometimes abuse, some of my parents fights even scare me even... i can barely talk to my friends, i always feel overwhelmed about the pressure the world gives me.. and my mother's health i getting worse.. It feels like I'm not in myself anymore! the song 'numb little bug' can express my feelings a little, I'm always overthinking about stuff.. that's why I can't focus on studies and that's why my mum and dad thinks I'm just hanging out with my friends but I'm not, i just can't! i have insomnia but nobody in my family knows, when everyone in my family sleeps, that's when i hug my pillow tight and cry so hard, and sometimes i express my feelings to my diary.

pmusicaholic · Answer

hey do you want to talk?

Iris_ · Answer

sure!

pmusicaholic · Answer

the only suggestion i would give you to meditate whenever you feel anxious... parents fight... mine also too and idk what to do about that tbh you should meditate take proper rest and diet and study and make your parents proud... and how is you mother?

pmusicaholic · Answer

and you can ask you parents separately what is the reason behind their fight and what will make them happy

Iris_ · Answer

making parents proud ik i can do that but stuff that makes me feel stressed i always overthink about it and i can't even forget it.. and my mother's health isn't nice.

Iris_ · Answer

and I'll tell u a little about my family what happens

Iris_ · Answer

my uncle and aunt did dark magic on me or stuff and for that once i almost DIED...

Iris_ · Answer

so the thing my family fights are on in this thing, my uncle and aunt

pmusicaholic · Answer

you can start your studies dont take stress taking stress wont help just believe in yourself and take good care of your mother ( talk to her... know how is she feeling... and show her you love her)

pmusicaholic · Answer

better yourself everyday

pmusicaholic · Answer

its not a one day job to study well but

Iris_ · Answer

i try but i can't coz it's hard for me even, as I'm just a teenager, I'm like 14..

pmusicaholic · Answer

im a teenager too

pmusicaholic · Answer

your age dont define whats your capability your mind does... take initiative to do and complaining about things and taking stress wont help

Iris_ · Answer

I know, as I'm a little more mature than I'm supposed to be.. just i can't handle stuff anymore, i mostly attempt sucide or even cut myself, which ik I'm not supposed to but life just gets harder.

pmusicaholic · Answer

do you want to hurt your mom?

Iris_ · Answer

oh c'mon she's not even awake yet from the coma... how more hurt she can be?

pmusicaholic · Answer

you dont understand motherhood if you hurt yourself she will feel the pain more than you do... just try once giving up shouldnt be an option

pmusicaholic · Answer

and youre just 14... instead of seeing all the negative sides try finding the positive ones

Iris_ · Answer

it should I've wasted years of my life anyway... i just don't feel like myself anymore, even meditation doesn't help me.

Iris_ · Answer

i can't, I've tried many times to find it, but it feels impossible, i only see the dark of my life..

pmusicaholic · Answer

have you ever tried seeing your mum while meditating... meditate now imagine your mum all fine and smiling... shes very proud of you! imagine this and meditate

pmusicaholic · Answer

do it rn and take 3 long breathes first

Iris_ · Answer

but i can't just imagine anymore... i haven't saw her awake for past 7 years, i even forgot how her smile face looked like..

pmusicaholic · Answer

do you have any picture of hers?

pmusicaholic · Answer

see it and blink as many times you can and then focus

pmusicaholic · Answer

close your eyss

pmusicaholic · Answer

and just think about her

Iris_ · Answer

nope, all the albums r in my old home with is rlly far from me, and my family doesn't rlly talks with me, actually never talks with me anymore.. they've lost it without my mom, my mom was the hope and soul of our family.

pmusicaholic · Answer

do you have any sibling?

Iris_ · Answer

nope.

Iris_ · Answer

i don't have a sibling sadly.

pmusicaholic · Answer

youre 14 right?

pmusicaholic · Answer

any friends?

Iris_ · Answer

friends? yeah but not in touch with them anymore. always alone.

Iris_ · Answer

tbh they actually were fake friends and they used me to do their 'assignments' and stuff.

pmusicaholic · Answer

my only advice to you is enjoy your life even if she isnt physically present with you but her love and blessings are there and she will never like that youre not living your life to the fullest... please try studying if studying isnt the thing you wanna do in life then choose another passion or your hobby like football, singing, swimming etc

Iris_ · Answer

i mean i like singing but no one actually supports me-

pmusicaholic · Answer

its better to be alone im 17 and i had only fake friends in my entire life...but i dont hold any grudges against them and tbh all of them had made me learnt some or the other life lesson so im grateful to them for that

pmusicaholic · Answer

i also like singing! do you want to sing for me?

Iris_ · Answer

sure-

Iris_ · Answer

but how?

pmusicaholic · Answer

ok you dont have any sibling you said i will be your elder sister ok?

pmusicaholic · Answer

telegram?

Iris_ · Answer

i don't have telegram, my dad won't allow me, but i got insta.

pmusicaholic · Answer

i dont have ig reason: my exams are going on

Iris_ · Answer

I'm gonna have exam this week too-

Iris_ · Answer

btw i gotta go to get groceries, I'll catch ya later byee!!

pmusicaholic · Answer

you better study bro! go and study now and you still got time to get full marks trust me

Iris_ · Answer

i already studied, and my exams aren't that hard, I'm just 14- and it's just a 10 marks exam, and it's the most easy subject, everyone gets full marks without even studying, but i did study and i get full marks of it everytime.

pmusicaholic · Answer

thats good

Iris_ · Answer

yep, no pressure.

Iris_ · Answer

I'm gonna go now byee!

pmusicaholic · Answer

bye

fondLion9 · Answer

i can feel you

excitedchowder9 · Answer

I can feel u

I am not fit for anyone

Unloving

Need someone to talk to!!