What's the reason for disrespects u?? do u know any exact reason for that
spiritedraisins3
1
I belong to a different background. I am not like them ..way more straight forward, open minded and also I believe better in terms of merit and family. But I never showed any kind of ego.
Vickey
acha ek suggestion doon, Aap agar unhe happy rakhna chahti hai to unke har wish ko pura kar dijiye, or unke saamne humesha soft Bane rahiye
spiritedraisins3
1
See, she will act normal as I have already mentioned about her to you before. She will never share good news with me. ask me about my health or safety anything. How can I only be the one doing it??
Vickey
1
aap jab free raho to unhe call ya text Karo, and unke baare me janane ki kausis karo, kyunki ladies apne problems share karna chahti hai, or uske liye woh insaan ko khojti hai, jis se aap unke close aa jayengi,
spiritedraisins3
I stayed with her for some months. i used to sit in her room and talk for 3/4 hrs. yet then she behaved bad. and once i left now we don't talk at all. only group chats
Vickey
1
ok means woh aapse jyada attach nahi hona chahti, Aapka selection unlogo ne hi Kiya hoga na, Aapki shaadi kinki pasand se Hui thi
spiritedraisins3
love marriage. and ofcrse they wanted someone from their community and district. I am a Brahmin and also from city.
Vickey
1
sorry mam, mujhe aisa nahi bolna chahiye tha
Vickey
I am really sorry mam π
spiritedraisins3
1
no it's fine. but the thing is sister is not good and is mean. koi aur ne bhi bataya. usska khud apne sasural mein nahin bani
spiritedraisins3
dont be sorry..
Vickey
1
yeah mam, phir aapka try karna bekar hai, Kyunki mujhe nahi lagta woh aapko heart se accept karengi, but koi nahi aapko soft heart se try karte rehna chahiye
spiritedraisins3
I don't want to try much. it must be effortless right? agar she misbehaves directly bol dungi kya? or should i confront why this behaviour?
Vickey
1
no mam, woh aapke husband ki family se hai, phir aapke husband ko bura lagega, so please unhe reply mat dena, aapka relation hai ki aapko unhe jhelna hoga
spiritedraisins3
wohi toh natak karte raho ..but if she acts nice when i visit why can't she call or MSG me too?
Vickey
mam, shayad woh v formalities nibhati ho, Mujhe shayad wahi lag raha hai
spiritedraisins3
1
yeah she does that. it needs some open communication
Vickey
1
No don't go with any direct arguments, please keep patience, and show them, what's they want
spiritedraisins3
1
thanks Vickey..you been a constant support. saturday I have to visit them..abhi se tension π
spiritedraisins3
1
she does natak. even involves her son to be extra nice to me..why??
Vickey
1
Best of luck mam, and don't try to overthink, Sab sahi hoga, bs aap apne pe control rakhna, or waha ache insaan ban ke rehna, Thode der hi to rehna hoga na
spiritedraisins3
1
and I believe once the father in law n mother in law is no more..there will be no bonding only. reh jayenge husband ke behan aur bhabi..being bestiesss
Vickey
1
after these conversations, i feel that, u are such a nice woman, So don't be sad for others and do ur best
Vickey
1
bs aapke husband aapke supportive hone chahiye, unke alawa or Kaun kaise react karta hai, karne dijiye
spiritedraisins3
1
accha hone se bhi kya faida..the whole family appreciates me but not my mother in-law or sister in law. they act as if they don't know my qualities. all they praise is the badi bahu
spiritedraisins3
1
husband is good but sometimes when i complain we fight.because he also doesn't like to know about all these. but at the end he loves them and has met them before me. so even if they are bad they will be good for him. blood !!
Vickey
woh unki galat selection ko dikhata hai, unhe dono ko same value dena chahiye, woh aapki feelings nahi samjh Rahi hai, Ladies ko to samjhna chahiye tha
spiritedraisins3
1
toh main kya karun?? natak of being gooodddd and nice
Vickey
1
yes mam, kyunki aap unke family ke against kuch bol nahi sakti, kyunki phir woh sab ek saath ho jayenge, or aap akeli
spiritedraisins3
1
wohi toh. i posted their bad behaviours and showed a few of them. They don't repeat those yet nor I talk much. just call once a day
Vickey
1
yeah, so keep the relation as a formality and don't try to attach with them
spiritedraisins3
1
thanks... for being there
Vickey
1
yeah we are always here for u mam, and please update the news of Saturday,
spiritedraisins3
1
haha pakka..can you chat here with me?
spiritedraisins3
1
like inbox ..
Vickey
no any inbox in this app mam
spiritedraisins3
1
okay..toh aapko status pehle bolna parega
Vickey
1
u can informed me as a post, and haan main wait karunga update ka, koi guidance chahiye hoga to aap bata dena
spiritedraisins3
1
you are so helpful. are you always happy ? why in this app
Vickey
1
to helps other, And Make someone happy, Aaj ke din me log sirf rulana jante hai hasana nahi
spiritedraisins3
1
really nice ! are you studying?
Vickey
1
i am doing both working and studying
spiritedraisins3
1
great ! keep being nice. Karma works π₯°
Vickey
1
Thank u mam, And please do ur best, Mam waha gusse pe control karna aap, baad me mujhe bata kar jitna gussa nikalna ho nikal Lena
Vickey
And Take care mam,
spiritedraisins3
1
haha!! tumhe hi bolungi.. I will try to be friendly. I always gave them gifts from before. thinking to get something this time too
spiritedraisins3
1
goodnight, takecare
Vickey
1
yeah sure, gift jarur dena, gift se relation ache hote hai, or unhe pasand v aata hoga
spiritedraisins3
1
kab se de Rahi hoon. they won't wear what i gift or eat ππ
spiritedraisins3
jab express kardia that am hurt them they started to praise
Vickey
1
Aap to try kar rahi na, ab unhe samjh nahi aa Raha ye to unki galti hai, aap apne side se sahi ho, I know
spiritedraisins3
1
God knows what I did !! even acted bad with my parents who visited first time.
Vickey
1
I understood ur feelings, It's too hard to accept, What's they do with ur parents
spiritedraisins3
1
when my parents said something nice about me the sister left. moreover, they were praising badi bahu infront of them. also didn't talk properly, the sister.
Vickey
sach me woh log bahot bure hai, woh to apne sasural me v aise hi rehte honge
spiritedraisins3
1
she doesn't visit sasural. only during festivals thrice in a year.
Vickey
1
isi karan unhe relative ko respect karne nahi ata
spiritedraisins3
1
they do bad with the other inlaws too . also they are unsocial. I got to know from one of the relatives. woh log kabhi ghul milte nahi hai. I do. Bass badi bahu, behan n mother in-law bestiesss
Vickey
1
Aapki unlogo se shaadi se pahle kabhi baat nahi Hui thi??
spiritedraisins3
1
mother used to talk. they visited also. rest two of the sisters i messaged sometimes. We had engagement also. It was normal . the abnormality was sisters dont talk on their own π
Vickey
1
aap lucky ho ko unki shaadi ho chuki hai or aap sab saath me nahi rehti, warna unko face karna bahot tough hota
spiritedraisins3
1
I stayed with them for some time. The bhaabi is sick so doesn't visit much. actually she has breast cancer and treatment is on. I stayed at inlaws place tried to be friends..but things turned bad
Vickey
1
i hope everything goes well, and accept the behaviour of ur sister in law, because they are not change her won behaviour, so u can
spiritedraisins3
1
ha wohi karungi...act normal and formalπ She is only nice to bhabi rest noneeeeeeee
spiritedraisins3
1
Hi Vickey, planning to go on Saturday. Just got an invitation from one of my husband's relative to attend a function on sunday. Saturday I will reach inlaws place at 3pm or so. will be nice and next day morning leave for the other relative's house. Will be back in the evening and coming back have food and rest . morning 7am Monday leave for my place. I just hope sunday wala plan thik se ho jaye. and we are allowed to go
Vickey
1
Wow, kaafi busy schedule ho gaya, sahi hai, aapko jyada face nahi karna hoga unko, i hope aap v apne temper ko control me rakho, and sab nicely ho jaye
spiritedraisins3
1
I will update you friend. I am even planning to ask the sister to join me visit a nearby relative on Saturday. Sunday the invitation is from inlaws side. They invited only me and my husband. woh log behan aur bhabi ko pasand nahi karte becoz they ain't friendly
Vickey
1
yeah sure, And enjoy ur tour..
spiritedraisins3
1
Vickey, just got to know father in law and mother in law will also join on sunday to visit the other relative. problem is whenever we visit mother in law comes up with orders like we have to visit someone else too. we have to visit things timely etc. help yaar. pura mood kharab ho gaaya.
Vickey
1
oh ye to ek naya situation create ho gaya, jaha aap inse bachna chah rahi thi, ye log wahi aapke paas aa rahe, Means Saturday and Sunday dono din ye log saath rahenge
spiritedraisins3
1
ha yaar . problem is them telling to visit other people or sometimes passing comments infront of others.
Vickey
1
Are koi nahi, bs waha v aapko normal Bane rehna hai, or try karna hai ki unlogo se Kam Kam se mulaqat ho
Vickey
1
and ye unki habbit hoti hai ki woh apni daughter in law ke behaviour ko lekar comments karte hai, ya phir other laws se comparison karti hai, but koi nahi, aap bs bold Bane rehna
spiritedraisins3
1
I will be normal only. just I wanted to spend more time in the sunday event. Aisa Naa ho ki event pe Kam time dalke baki kahi aur Jane ko force kare..they got that habit
Vickey
aapne apni sister ko invite Kiya hai na event me
spiritedraisins3
1
I don't have siblings. baki husband ka sister shayad accompany na bhi kar sakti hai becoz the other relative doesn't like her.
Vickey
1
phir to sahi hai, or event me apne husband ke saath rehna, koi kuch nahi bolega
spiritedraisins3
1
I will try my best . To act happy and normal.
spiritedraisins3
1
hi Vickey, things went quite good this time. they acted nice and friendly. touchwood. thanks for listening to me always π»
Vickey
1
Oh Congrats, Phir to aap sach me kaafi happy hongi, Sahi hai, aap aise hi humesha react Karo, and woh log v humesha aapke liye ache rahenge
spiritedraisins3
1
yes Vicky, I did everything like I did, got gifts, talked to them nicely. pata hai behan ne ek bhi bar bhabi ki tarif nahi kya issbar, am shocked.
Vickey
1
mam, sun kar acha laga, but aapko koi gift Mila ya nahi, and haan humesha safe rahiye, kyunki relatives v politics karte hai, so humesha safe rahiye, and ek or suggestion sabhi family members ke saath polite rahiye
spiritedraisins3
1
no gifts from them but yes mother in law gave food items. rest they are sweet might be politics too. but am staying neutral and good
Vickey
1
yeah, Ab woh ache se call pe response deti hai na
spiritedraisins3
1
yeah , accha hai
spiritedraisins3
1
response is good and all. as if Aaj tak kuch hua hi na ho π Pata nahin why so much of drama...
Vickey
1
ise family drama kehte hai, and agar woh aisa nahi karengi to aap unhe Aisa respect nahi dengi na is Karan
spiritedraisins3
1
Pata nahin but abhi bhi problem hai, I stay far from my husband and parents. also inlaws house is 2.5 hrs far. every month I visit my husband qnd I have to inform my inlaws. they keep count how many days will I stay. also my parents n husbands place is same. How to avoid that? last time i stayed 10 days but lied to them for 3 days.
Vickey
1
if u visited at ur husband's place, then keep it private, don't share with anyone
spiritedraisins3
1
wohi soch Rahi hoon, just hope woh log na ajaye mujhe visit Dene π
Vickey
1
Hahahaha, jab tak aap or aapke husband silent rahenge, koi nahi aayegaβΊοΈβΊοΈ
spiritedraisins3
1
thanks Vickey,you been really helpful. I stay two hrs away from them..Aaj tak toh nahin aaya kya pata , they might
Vickey
1
No mam, Never leak ur privacy with ur relatives and laws, because they never understand ur feelings
spiritedraisins3
1
you are the best one.. you been nice always
Vickey
1
Thank U βΊοΈβΊοΈ
Vickey
1
and u are also a soft heart lady, so keep smiling always
spiritedraisins3
1
I will keep u posted.
Vickey
2
yeah sure mam
spiritedraisins3
1
guess what vickey. got to visit and stay in my inlaws place for two days. coming Thursday and Friday. I have official work in my inlaws area. iss baar bhabi is also there on Thursday.
Vickey
1
Best of luck for tomorrow, and kausis karna ki last time jaise sabka Dil phir se Jeet loon
Vickey
1
and sorry mam, i saw ur msg today, I am really sorry, I know u waited from last today's for my reply
spiritedraisins3
1
koi na vickey, I thought you had not noticed. kal toh bhabi bhi hongi na, the one whom mother in law and sister in law loves the most !!
Vickey
1
good Morning, Phir aaj pata chal jayega ki woh kahi bhabhi ke karan aapse rude behave to nahi karti hai na
spiritedraisins3
1
let's she. they always love and appreciate her infront of me.
Vickey
1
best of luck
spiritedraisins3
1
hi, staying at inlaws place. kal subah will go back . people behaving well and good. As if nothing had happened.
Vickey
1
very good, shayad ab sab log aapki value samjh gaye, i hope ye humesha aise hi rahe
spiritedraisins3
1
pata nahin par, when I visit it's nice and normal. hopefully it lasts .
spiritedraisins3
1
hi vickey. I am going to my parents home tomorrow. yes the same city where my husband also stays. everytime I go, inlaws keep on tracking my stay. even chachi and mami all calls. I go for my official work and then saty for some days for overall 7-8 days. last time I informed them 3 days instead of 7. This time I have official work as well my cousin's engagement. what to do?? should i tell the whole 7 days stay or lie.
Vickey
1
No, never tells ur exact time to ur inlaws, and enjoy ur 7 days with ur parents and husband, and try to hide ur duration
spiritedraisins3
1
but I have family engagement aswell woh bhi hide karde??
Vickey
nahi nahi, woh nahi warna unhe kahi or se pata chalega to phir unhe lagega ki aap galat ho or aap baate chupati ho
Vickey
Hello mam, Sorry for disturbs u, but now ur family members are ok with u na