Whenever I'm in a family get together I always feel very out of place, uncomfortable. The main reason behind it is all my uncles are very established in their lives except my dad and so are all my cousins except me. And the fact that I feel embarrassed because of my dad's occupation makes me so so guilty, I feel like I'm the worst daughter anybody could have. Even while I'm writing this I feel so bad that I think this way. I don't like to feel this way whenever Im meeting my relatives. I want to love myself and my lifestyle. I don't know what to do. I'm also very embarrassed about the fact that I cannot speak English fluently and they always converse in English. Whenever I try to speak in English I get nervous and because of that I stammer and fumble. I always feel like people look down on me, they pity me because I cannot speak fluently in English, because I'm only an average student whereas all my cousins are good in studies, literally everybody. I feel like people don't love me even when they say they do and ik they are telling the truth. I feel like people just laugh at me behind back. I feel everybody thinks I'm a pathetic loser. But the worst part is I believe everything that my brain tells me.