He left again. I gave him another chance. But he did it again. Maybe it was not his fault. Maybe my insecurities just suffocate him enough to break all his promises, yet again. Both the times he just said he is changed. I am in love with this guy since years now. He is the only person i have love all my life. We were in a relationship before which came to an end, yet i didnt feel like seeing someone else. Then he came back again, and now again it has come to an end. I dont know whether he loves me or not. He tells me he doesn't. Cuz we are kind of best friends. Even if we break up, we are frnds, nd we have got each others back. He tells other people that he loves me but he wont tell me or be with me, cuz he is better at being a frnd than being a boyfriend. And he thinks thay he hurts me when he is my boyfriend. He is not much Expressive. I have tried to made him talk a several times. But he just doesnt speak up. Sometimes he does and all he says is he had brutal experiences of people and everyone is gonna leave one day. Cant he see me..am i invisible. It really hurts...cuz since 5 years...all i cared about was him...even if he found someone else...who makes him happy..i would be really nd honestly happy for him. Though it would have left me in pieces but his happiness is all thay matters. All i knoe is i can see him happy with someone else..but i cant see myself with someone else. I just cant doo alll this again. I cant love anyone else with all this love. Not even a lil..u know why, cuz frankly i dont want to. I love him. Nd i want to love him till the end. I dont wanna be alone or with someone else. Call me stubborn or what so ever. But this is what it is. Though i m never going to force him. He will come if he wants to. I don't know. I well certain things happened u know...that just made me believe that successful relationships are a myth. I love him with all that i have. But i still dont think that i can be in a relationship with anyone. Maybe i dont deserve it. Its not something for me. Cuz it takes a lot out of both the people, and cant be onesided. Love can be happily one sided..but relations can't be. I don't even know why i am writing this..or what i want from the you who are reading this. I am really confused. Cuz i guess he was my home,, and now i am homesick for a place that doesn't even exist.
