hi..... what happened? what is bothering you? you can share your feelings in details...u wl feel better
janedoe69
1
my brain just is a bad thought on a loop. I'm always expecting the worst. my fears are slowly becoming a reality. I'm in the best relationship I've ever been in but I think there is about to be some VRRY drastic changes (adding another person into the relationship:/ ) and I'm feeling insecure about myself, I feel all alone but I'm not. and I think I've been hurt so so much to the point where it's just numb inside. my throat has been sitting in my stomach for the last 12 hrs 😞🥲 just want it to go away. tried music but made me sadder...maybe I need to go through these emotions? thanks for commenting ^^^
inadilema
1
means is there anything happening in ur relationship or u r only imagining?
DearDiary
1
i can totally relate to you.. In the exact same loop.. wanna tell more?
janedoe69
1
@deardiary it's kinda hard to even describe it all. like I'm not really mad, I'm not really sad...there's just nothing and a stomach ache. idk if it's a new feeling for me but it sucks. I'm trying to just stay a little distant for now cause obviously I'm not trying to get my heart and soul crushed again. (or what's left of em) but I feel like it's going to cause stress on my relationship cause I have a really hard time talking to anyone about it. unless ofc your a random person online that I will never meet 😂ðŸ˜
janedoe69
1
@inadilema I've been with my fiance for 2 going on 3 years, he recently told me he's interested in a 3 way. well you see, I have so many trust issues and have always been cheated on and was never really the only one someone wanted...I told him to give me sometime to think and get a grasp on it and not even 10 hrs later he's bringing it up so much and so often I literally sat in my closet breaking down. ( he said we didn't have to do it but it was starting to be a problem, for example watching 3 some p0rn after I asked him spend some time with me and it definitely hurt and I told him that...(ik guys watch it but I was in bed right there 10 ft away 💔) I've explained my feelings about a 3 some over and over again, but I cracked. I'm letting a distant friend into our "love life" but I'm just scared of him Actually catching feelings for her cause she's way prettier and the way they were talking on the phone just feels absolutely crappy. like he doesn't smile like that when he talks to me or even about me. 😞 my mental health has been a pretty big problem for a while. I'm currently looking to find some help. i relapsed on S/H and I just want to do it again but deeper but I'm really really trying. I'm kinda all over the place sorry guys!! thanks for letting me vent
inadilema
2
it's ok ...... hope you are feeling little better after sharing ur heart out. i don't have any idea about this else must have suggested you some solution. only can suggest you that hope for positive things and think only those things which you want to happen else make distance from the person who is hurting u.
DearDiary
1
@janedoe69 Well it's way to complicated situation, but hang in there.. u will get past it sooner or later.. For now just try to survive.. one day at a time.. and you will find a way.. Also I'm currently making a list of all the positive and negatives of my current relationship.. And i will let it be the deciding factor for my next step ...