obsessive thoughts about unhygienic things
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I don't know what is causing this but since this lockdown, I've been allergic to dirt and grossy things .. I can't even touch the dustbin and sometimes really gross thing comes to my mind and I feel like puking .. it was not there until last year .. by somehow it's severe now .. I don't know how to control these imagination.. u constantly tell myself that it's ok chnge the topic and think about other things.. somehow i control myself bt not all the times .. i can think of this reason .. last year .. my best friend.. I was in love with him .. actually I'm in love with him and we've been frnds since childhood.. same school .. bt diff college now .. we were best frnds until last year .. when I started liking him and started to act weirdly around him .. I don't know why I did that .. he was busy with his placements and didn't gave me much attention.. it was not usual for me as he was the one with whom I used to share my feelings till then .. and suddenly he started to ignore me .. I can understand that he was busy so I always tried not to bother him .. I don't know why he started things like - kachra mt bola kro (he meant to say that don't say unnecessary things,he said that because he thought I was talking faltu things) and that kachra word hit me hard .. like I've been ignored many times bt no one has said that I speak kachra.. i can think of this reason .. or may be i misunderstood it .. bt i don't really know .. last Nov I told him about my feelings for him and we don't talk like before .. I know it's not normal to talk after my confession bt I didn't expect anything from him .. I knew that he won't ever have the same feelings for me .. there are things that I've said to him that I don't think is wrong by somehow he misunderstood them and thinks that I talk nonsense.. I tried to explain them a lot of times that I didn't meant it that way .. bt may be he's too sensitive to accept it .. anyway .. how can I cure this germophobia type thing ? U know sometimes when I'm eating , grossy things like a lot of hair's image or bahot ghinaune type images comes to my mind and i can't even eat .. I get anxiety attacks because of him .. and now this germophobia Wala thing .. I don't know what to do.. please help

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