Hello! I am sure this must be a difficult situation for you. Have tried talking to your friends about this? I am sure if you try to talk to them and tell them that you are feeling in such a way they would understand and start including you in their conversations. Has anything past happened that has made this way, i mean was there anyone in the past you shared your feelings with and that person didn’t reciprocate the way you wanted? Regarding your studies you are very young this is the time where you explore your options if you aren’t clear and remember there is no problem in that many people aren’t clear about their future. Do you have options in your mind what you would like to pursue as a career?

I have told one of them about this and she talked to me for just 1-2 days through chat but then again it didn't continued and everything is still same. I think I am of this type from the beginning but yes during my high school, I went into depression as I was not able to do good in studies and issues with my family started as I could not balance everything. Even though everything has become normal now, but I still get panic attacks when I think about that. Yes, I know that I have time to think about my future but the expectations of getting a job right after college and my other inner feelings makes me anxious most of the time. I am currently studying computer engineering but I am unclear about if I want to work in this field in future or not.. I spend my day happily only when I don't think about any of these things but I can't continue living like this.(It's like I am struggling to pass the days)

I would suggest that you talk to your friends about how you feel when they don’t talk, Also if this bothers you soo much why don’t you try to put in more efforts, have you tried it? We should set small goals what are your current goals? Why don’t you make a action plan and let us know we can see how both of us can collaborate and go about it to make things smooth for you?

Hi! First of all, thank you for reaching out. It takes courage to come out and seek help. Friendships like any other relationship requires time and energy to get flourished and nurtured. It is also true that not all people can fulfill all your needs. It is not your fault for not being able to express emotionally. For some people, it is not easy to be vocal about their emotions. And it is alright. If you feel not cared by your friends, you can communicate it to them about how you feel by their behaviour. Engaging in such communication will help you and your friends understand each other better and know each other's needs and boundaries. It may be possible that your feelings of loneliness may be rooted in your childhood experiences which surfaces again and again in your relationships. An introspection into that may be helpful in understanding your own thought and behavioural pattern. Another thing to keep in mind that there are different ways of emotional expression. While for some, talking it out is helpful, for others chatting/texting serves the purpose. For some journaling is quite helpful which can be done in the form of letter writing (expressing one's feelings for the significant other; the letter may or may not be posted), diary entries, gratitude journal, art, creative writing etc. You too can choose a medium suitable to you. Accepting and acknowledging what you're feeling holds a lot of value. The current pandemic situation has been mentally exhausting for many people due to accompanying feelings of being away from loved ones, uncertainty, change in daily routines etc. While the time is difficult, it will be helpful to remember that it is a phase and that this too shall pass. You have only year of your studied left, and I'm sure you'll get to explore your options. Take care :)

Thanks a lot for your kind words mam! It really made me feel good.. I will try doing this but now I feel like it might be awkward because they don't talk to me now and they all have become close friends while I am left alone. I have to force myself to talk to them now, but, now they don't even seem to be interested in talking with me and I start cursing myself and become anxious whenever this happens. Yes, I do need to introspect. I was just finding it difficult because whenever I think about it, it becomes difficult to control over my thoughts and I end up getting more anxiety. It's like I'm stuck in my own thoughts and feelings. But, I will try to work on your words.. I have started writing diary from 2-3 days. Maybe, it will help!

It’s great that you are satisfied with the answer you got. I hope you work on what you feel most comfortable with and let us know how you feel about it?