Or maybe it was needed for me to be careful the next time.
I could never told you this.
I try so motherfucking hard to hate you but i terribly fail everytime.
I always tried to be there for you, and said "i am here for".
But later realised you were never there for me, you never even asked"if everything is alright with me" and i felt bad.
Or maybe I am relieved that you didn't, it would've just given me hope for 'us'.
I daily fight the urge to text you.
To tell you that I still miss you,
To tell you that I want you back like it's the first time.
To tell you i want you to be my first forever.
To take your hand and fight for it and for you.
No one can be you, no one can break me again the way you did.
You broke me and now nobody can fix me.
I hope someday I have the courage to tell you all this
But maybe I won't coz I know it will mean nothing to you.