past trauma affecting current relationship
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in my past relationship my bf treated me like thrash i was not ready for sex atall but he manipulated me and i said yes with heavy heart then at time of sex i refused i said no but forced himself on me , i shouted like hell i pushed him but he did sex very forcefully and disrespectfully that i was not able to walk for 7 days and after that i got sucidal tendencies , i loved him a lot, after that all the time he trated me like sex toy he use to do sex and left me alone for crying never asked how i am when after limit i said i not liking this he said i will leave him he will kill me or beat me with wip i was too scared , now i am in relation with another person i told him everything but i am afraid at somepoint what if he will not believe me or say that it was my fault i always feel that was my fault since 4 years i feel traumatised suffr depressed i stucked this impacts my present relation but when i do sex with my new bf i enjoys it then why i did not had any good feeling in my past why i felt like sult , i am feeling too low and bad about myself

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