I am 23 and in notice period. I from a year feel like I have just existed in my life and never was aware whats happening and did not live my life. I do not even regret that I did not have a successful or purposeful life I rather am surprised by how I did not realize whats my wants, how am I being treated by people, how I am treating them, what I feel, why I am doing something. I feel so dumb. I used to think I am humorous, good at writing, smart and have good vocabulary. Lately through the suppression I faced at work I started evolving as a person. I saw my fellow colleague being cherished and felt maybe I am not that smart to he honest maybe I am dumb. I felt that person as a rival and it did not help i feel it actually made me look like a bad person. Rival in the sense i meant no harm its just i felt the treatment i get is due to that person. I did not want to lose I kept trying in my own way hoping every person has his day.