Every one die at some point. No one knows who will die when. Anytime anyone can die. Mental n emotional health is very important. Some people will have less difficult life. Some will have more difficult life in any aspect. Live life till we die. Suffer till u die. Get strong. Some are solution less problems. No one will understand expect u how much u suffer. No one will help.dont get fear of death or pain. Take all pain with tough heart. Dont tink about what people will think. Do what ever u want. Don't try to make ppl how u feel. Because they don't understand u. Thinking positive will not make things positive. Making good things or helping others will no help u. Nothing like fate. Nothing like karma. There is nothing like God. Keeping hope even makes u more sad. Just living for my baby as she needs me. She need milk of me. I love my baby but not able u enjoy my motherhood because of this my problem. My baby is very cute. I have extrem wish to enjoy my motherhood soo well wich not not getting possible now.I feel bad. This is not postpartum thing to end. This is not psychological thing to end. This is real problem which has no end. my psychological stress is not giving me the physical problem(lot of uneasiness in stomach the cause was unable to found by any doctors. Tried very hard to get better. Now lost hope. But I will try some more). My physical problem is giving me phychological stress. This is not postpartum depression some times which will have no or not known cause. I having health issue because of which im depressed. If that was solved I get good. But I wont get good. I'm not stressed with baby responsibility. I'm only really stressed with my real health issue. I'm hating suggestions like u should forget all ur worry n suffering with ur baby. People who face the issue will know it's seviarity. If problem is not visible that doesn't mean we r having problem. Till now all n myself confused me that all this is because of stress of new babies responsibilities and all my problem will gradually reduce but it wont. Not liking my life but I love my life. I don't have hope that I will Get normal. I hate my life. Till now I just cheated my self by keeping hope with fear of facing problem. My problem will not get solved. I have to face it. I don't know how much more can I bare. I don't know what I will do. Its getting tough for me. My parents lost trust on me n not believing me. My husband is believing me but he is very busy by profession to help me not blaming him. I understand him. But I'm getting fear may be he will also lose faith in me like my parents did. I will get alone. I'm still alone. Have to fight alone. I'm just not giving up. Even if Im losing interest in everything I'm just trying to eat food, visible normal to people. So that I don't get worst for the sake of my baby. May be not giving up make people think I'm good. Wishing good luck won't make things better. I will see till where all this goes.
