Post partum depression
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New mom here. Life feels terrible right now. Don't get me wrong. I love my baby. It's everyone else who keep judging and criticizing me for everything that happens. It's been a year since I slept on a stretch of three hours. In total my baby has never slept more than five or six hours a day . I mean it literally. No exaggeration. Except on days where my baby got vaccine or fever and is on medication, she's never slept on a stretch of three hours. It's taken a toll on my physical and mental health. My relationship with my husband got too bad after the birth of our baby. I understand I'm not able to spend time or physically care for him like I used to. But he has this idea of only mom being responsible for a baby. My hubby's never stayed awake one whole night to take care of our baby. So it's one year and a month I've been doing it alone. If I ask help, I get shamed saying you are a mom now, behave like one . He does help me at times. But being a parent takes 1000 times more effort and I'm left exhausted. We almost went to the verge of getting seperated. My mother in law despises me, so I'm not even going to talk about her. My mom who has to be my support system sides with the whole world except me. She physically helps take care of my baby. But the words she uses to talk to me hits worse. Always criticizing my decisions and actions, always judging, always ready to put me down infront of anyone. She accused me like a stranger would when we didn't have a baby. My lil one was born three years after marriage. Now I feel the people who should be my greatest strength are actually my biggest let down. I never want to die, I have my baby to take care of. But the thought of ending all this and disappearing from the world keeps popping often. Jeez. I'm sorry for such a big rant

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