I am a 18 year old girl . I do not really have friends but few people I play with. 3 years ago I met a guy and we started becoming close and I deeply got attached to him and we also became a lil physically intimate and that time I was only denying myself that it’s a short lived crush. Later things started going south and we started to have fights and then we wud never talk but eventually he wud talk again but we would have boundaries and he started becoming less caring than before because he knows I like him very much it’s been a month that we actually called it final ends though all I wanted to find a solution to our problems that we have had. He has blocked me from everywhere. 3 years were a lot complicated story but the amount of pain with every fight is the same . I am quite a strong girl but this thing I can’t seem to handle. All I think of is that I want him back . I have tried distracting myself engaging myself in studies and a lot more things but none seem to work . Yes it does have started to affect my studies. Because not just him I don’t really have anybody to talk to and I have lots of insecurities about myself now because of him because he said so. I started looking for other guys but they just end up playing or cheating me though I didn’t date them and it seems to hurt my pride that anyone comes and play me and increases my insecurities all the more. Due to all of this I can’t seem to think that my career is important to me . And I have to become a great person on 10 years. I have started to feel that I won’t be able to stop loving him and love someone else in future. He was the one who actually cared and was by my side and gave me everything I truly ever wanted to have from a person. I have a bit family problems too so I have felt unloved and he became the first person to show me how it felt when somebody cares for u. I just need want to be able to move on. Cuz I find myself crying all the time and sometimes denying that he is nothing to me but truly it’s just the opposite .