I have found out this yeAr that my husband is a narcissist and that I have been covertly being abused for years. That along with Covid, the civil unrest and also losing someone to suicide this year had been too much for me. I’m lobely all the time though almost always with someone. I am having suicidal thoughts and can’t make the pain stop. I’m taking antidepressants and I’m in therapy but it’s not changed anything yet.