Hello guys just joined. I don't know if i am suffering from depression or not but all i know i get panic attacks, i cry everyday.. though there's an improvement on that. Had suicidal thoughts 2 months ago. My husband cheated on me 3 yrs into the marriage.
He is the kind of man i used to think he is the best, he will never cheat ..he is honest.. descent man.. inused ro worship him.. everyone used to oraise him.. all my friends envied my relationship. I used to thank God for giving me agreat husband. I used to trust him.. even when he slept out i used ro know he can't be with anyone else.. he is doing business. Cause with him he was always busy with soing business.. looking for money.. starting this year he just changed.. he was he used ro sleep out.. in the name of business, always angry at me.. .. but i still believed he can never cheat .. he will never do that to me. I felt something has cheated he had cheated. There's a day he told me he wanted to move out ..he had looked for a one bedroom house cause i give him stress.. i laughed cause i found it funny.. we made up and he dropped he story ..and we were okay..a few months a go he had left his phone in the bedroom. A number call saved "MINE" i got scared and had a punic attack. I decided to call the number back..it was a lady.. i got scares.. she told me to give the phone back to the owner and hanged up. I threw the phone at him.. i have never been scared in my life. I thought i was dreaming. I never thought such will ever happen to me. I used to see memes and posts of cheating boyfriends and husbands but I didn't imagine it could ever happen to me. He was the best guy everyone could ever want. It turned out the lady was his ex.. they had been together the wjole of this year. The past 2 month i wasa wreck couldn't go to work. The worst a man can ever do is cheat on you with his ex.. i always ask my self.. why did he marry me and not her.. was my purpose to get the name ..cause he stopped being romantic with me years ago.. is it his ex he wants and not me. Cause we are young and i am still young..i miss some things.. i want to feel loved.. someone to make me laugh.. i miss that .. and it hurts a lot .. cause yes right now we are trying to make it work but i don't think i will evr trust him pkus he doesn't make an effort..this have gotten worse . ... 3yrs into the marriage and look at how we are..we are supposed to be in the honeymoon stage and yet... nothing!!! I am so scared.. i am scared every single day for my marriage..i pray alot .. i pray all the time .. and i don't want to get tired of praying.. i want my life back. This hurts..it hurts a lot
