Relationship issue because of parents

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Relationship issue because of parents

Hey! I really need some help. I feel like I am trapped. I am a 23 year old girl and have been in love with someone for years. But the age gap between us is 7 and a few months. He is now 30 and have been fighting with his family for 2 years as I couldn't tell my family back then. His family is ok with me. Now, I told my family about him and they are completely against it. There is no way we can wait as he is 30 and his family will pressurize him to get married to someone if my family doesn't agree. Both of us cannot marry anyone else and I can't even wait till my parents agree because he is telling me that if my parents won't agree and his family pressurizes him for another marriage, he will commit suicide. I am really helpless right now. Can someone please help me?

crankyanu

10 Answers
prii
3
Hey, see your parents get overprotective because they love you so much, they might not be okay with the age gap because it is not common for them, I believe that we should always respect our parents as no one has ever sacrificed more than our parents, so best thing is to stay calm for you and your future husband and just explain them with love, it doesn't have to be a family breaking thing, understand their view, make them understand yours I'm sure things will work out, you can advice your future husband the same, he waited till 30, another year won't harm but atleast he'll get to spend his life with you
crankyanu
Thank you for your help! I appreciate it. I told him so but his family is pressurizing him to get married before he turns 31. So what he is telling me is that if he has to wait, his family might break with him... And he can't see his family also breaking and that's why he will decide to die. I am really confused and feel trapped. The situation is like either his family or my family is going to break. Any idea how I can solve this? Please?
prii
4
See according to what I see is, his family is pressurizing him, and he is pressurizing you.. you should stay calm and one this is, suicide is very difficult to commit, very few have the guts to actually kill themself, If I were you, I would have made my parents and his parents meet and talk about it and you both as a team should make them understand that you'll are good for each other and will be happy with each other, you both are feeling alone rather than thinking like a team and working together to get a solution, maybe give it a try, if nothing, then you can speak to his parents about your situation as well, don't be so stressed, the more calmer the better you can handle the situation
prii
4
Wait are you ready to get married at 23? Please dont take an important decision because your boyfriend is blackmailing you that if you don't marry he'll die, and if you see you don't marry the first girl you see, so it is possible that he rejects the girl or the girl rejects him and the process gets delayed, if you are not ready to get married, please don't marry, if you are then you can try your best to explain your parents that you want to spend your life with him
innocentOtter9
3
I think you should try to talk to your family about how important this decision is to you. Ask your parents to meet him once and then decide.
crankyanu
1
My parents are not even ready to meet them. I don't know what to do now. They are saying that they are not interested and don't want to meet them. I had talked about my situation to his parents. But they are like "we are also parents. We have been waiting for you for 2 years. Now you are asking to wait more.. are you not thinking about us?" And No... I actually don't want to marry at this age. But it's just that I love him so much and I am afraid I will loose him. I have a good connection with him. So I am afraid that if I just cancel everything just because I don't want to get married now, then I will loose a very genuine relationship that I might not even get again in this world. But again, thank you for helping! It means a lot. 🥺
innocentOtter9
2
Try to involve someone else from the extended family who can help.
crankyanu
I tried but nobody is willing to support me
prii
4
See marriage is a big commitment if you are not ready, nobody can force you, do what makes you happy, there is no right or wrong, what matters is that in the end you don't have regrets and you are happy
crankyanu
Thank you everyone for taking out time for me... Thank you so much ❤️