speaking about parents, they are human too. they can make mistakes too. so it's okay. we can't expect all the things from them. And about your friends circle, not everyone will react the same way as you. everyone is different. it will hurt more if you expect things from others. trust me, I was in the same situation in case of parents and friends. instead start writing a journal. it helped me a lot over 3 years. it will help you too!

Thanks i will try journal.

So for Part 2 continuing the above paragraph. In addition to this I feel normal like ok this is me. But there comes a phase for all of us where we become more aware of ourselves Or can say spiritual Or mindfull Or conscious for career. So as I got in that phase, I really started to look at present and past scenes, where people would blatantly call me abnormal, weird, not normal or will say you are not same... also "kiddo" is a fixed term. Well I realized I do act kiddish coz hyperactivity Or hypersensitivity. So in order to be normal I even try to copy the gestures from other people. it's so so restraining and sad to deal with. Like why? since everyone is saying live in ur own way, and when I do (also I don't interfere with anyone else's boundaries) so I am tagged as kiddo? coz I either laugh at even small things or get nervous. I feel like the strictness while growing up or being too friendly with friends that they take me for granted. even journal won't feel enough. I want and I try to improve myself, but I feel like I am aiming in darkness of my own box. with no clearance of thoughts. it's all black and white, less gray, no in between. it is frustrating and super painful to heart. that you don't feel human but an alien. Viewing the world from a detached perception. And writing this all I still don't know how exactly to explain the point. I have started to close up in my own shell. I don't even know how to keep control on my emotions or how to express. its me becoming more awkward as I grow. just wtf and idk. and to top it off I never developed self esteem so I would not know when to walk away from my ex, or when to stop over-explaining topics to people who don't mind, or take stand for myself, I feel weak and weaker, like physically mentally and all over , exhausted.

I know the feeling, chill. First of all, you know yourself way better than others. To be understood by people, you need people with same intellect as of yours 😉. Secondly, if you are being mindful then you need not to look in the past,because, what's done is done, you can't alter it. Take one thing at a time. One problem at a time. One situation at a time. You will have a vision soon. Vent it out.