you have social anxiety

ya I know I just thought I would feel something I wouldn't be able to converse I was able to but I think I overworked myself for acceptance

maybe genetics is shit

it's ok. don't be bothered about what happened. have some faith in yourself. don't be sad. try to talk to atleast one person a day ( just saying a "hi" can be counted as a conversation.) never give up! try to talk to people as much as you can. after one or two weeks , you can find a positive difference in your conversation. your tension will decrease. have a great day!^^