I am depressed and suicidal. I am depressed about my past porn habits. Although I have not watched any real porn for a long time. I used to watch celebrity softcore stuff and maaturbate to it. I found about nofap about 6 months ago. Now I am trying nofap and have relapsed many times. But recently my own mind has started some games with me. Somehow I have been decieved by my mind into believing I am attracted to my own sister although I am 100% sure I am not. She is about 2 years younger than me and I am 17. And I hate myself for it. My mind is killing me and I am depressed and having suicidal thoughts. No matter what I do I just can't focus on my studies and I am a straight A student. This is bothering me even more. The regret thoughts about porn and me being such a bad brother is killing me from the inside. Any help is appreciated from you guys. I just want this phase of my life to end. I have never watched any hardcore ppwerful things. Even typing all ths was hard for me. Please help me.