Hey, the things you want may not be the things you need in life. There could be much better opportunities waiting for you, please give yourself a chance. Killing yourself isn't the solution.
There's more to life except work. What about your friends and family? If you're dedicated and hard working then you will get other job that are a better fit for you.
Hang on... better opportunity is waiting for you... simply remember emotion you are going through shall pass.. and you will see the sunshine 🌅..I have been even harder than this situation for many times... trust me.. this too shall pass.. God bless you