Hey sijapeny....dont be so hard on yourself. I think he is your true friend and can totally understand your situation. I think that's what real friend should do and no need to panic. Just take a long deep breadth and let some time pass away. It will heal you and your relationship with your friend.
hi Sijapeny, take a deep breath and center yourself. Ending it all is not a solution. Try to reach out to your friend and apologise for your behaviour. Try to make him/her understand your side. They may or may not forgive you. It is not in your hands, you will have to let them take their own course. In the mean time, apologise to them and forgive yourself.
Hi, since he is your best friend he gets you more than anyone else, I know this is a difficult time, and your must find everything really really overwhelming, and since for you it's also a Confusinf time in absolute rush you just blasted off what was all inside, the very fact you agree with that you have made a mistake and are owning up for your actions is a start, the friendship must ha e been for years I guess, one event did not let your friend go sour, so why are you being so harsh on yourself? Ofcourse one cannot take anyone for granted, but please allow your insecurities to be acknowledged, shutting yourself down or punishing yourself won't let them go away, when we make mistakes we make sure we repemd on it my improving our behaviour and being mindful of our actions. Since your bpd has gone worse, there is help available, if you have a therapist don't hesitate to reach out, medical help comes under essential service, so amidst the current situation as well help is available. When something seems wrong to take action is the right step, here it is not only to go an expert, but also acknowledge your vulnerabilities don't run away from there.
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Hey please take a pause and try to put a lid on those gloomy thoughts...your best friend is your best friend because he understands what you're going through. BPD is a mental health issue, it's not who you are. And lashing out without reason is a symptom of the Illness it's not your natural approach to relationships! Why blame yourself? Reach out to your best friend and apologise. He will understand your struggle. BPD is just a condition and you're true self is far stronger and kinder than what this illness turns you into some times.