Well running away from the situation is not the answer. You should talk to your siblings and tell them how you feel and if they don’t understand then tell your mother about it. Don’t feel hopeless, we are here for you :)
Ifyouwereme
i have tried all of that its been 8 years now the situation has come where i dont even get food
Hazra
1
There's nothing wrong in wanting an independent life but you need to plan this carefully. I'm not sure how old you are or how financially secure. If you do have the resources then find a safe place to stay not too far away from family, you might need to fall back on them. It is a big step but that's what you need to take in order to change your situation if it is indeed bothering you so much. And who knows maybe some distance might repair your relationship with your siblings!
Ifyouwereme
i am earning very less and my family takes it all because they paid for my education and i have to pay them back
Hazra
1
you dont really have to pay them back for.paying for your education. that's a basic need of children parents have to meet...you could consider staying in a hostel accommodation. you need to be brave! either confront your family or take breaks from them or move out. i'm sure youll find a way!
Zoya Ahmad
1
Hey! Thanks for trusting us.
I am sure this must be difficult situation for you. But there isn’t something you can’t do when you try the right way.
Can you pls tell why have you been feeling this about your family?
Disclaimer:- Nature of all the advices provided on this platform including Expert’s are for general information only because complete detailed clinical work up of individual not done. These advices in their all aspects are not substitute for Professional Medical Consultation and are not valid for MLC (Medico-Legal cases). All individuals are advised to consult nearest specialists.
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Ifyouwereme
i have to for the money they paid for my graduation and i am being forced for all of that i have no idea if i move out i do not have any backup nor a friend to share all of this if i move out its over and even then i am suppose to pay all the money
Zoya Ahmad
1
So if you move out your expenses would be double. Managing your own and still paying your family the loan.
How about trying to make the situation work or atleast mangeable for yourself.
Disclaimer:- Nature of all the advices provided on this platform including Expert’s are for general information only because complete detailed clinical work up of individual not done. These advices in their all aspects are not substitute for Professional Medical Consultation and are not valid for MLC (Medico-Legal cases). All individuals are advised to consult nearest specialists.
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Zoya Ahmad
What are the exact problems that are coming? We can surely discuss and find a way out.
Disclaimer:- Nature of all the advices provided on this platform including Expert’s are for general information only because complete detailed clinical work up of individual not done. These advices in their all aspects are not substitute for Professional Medical Consultation and are not valid for MLC (Medico-Legal cases). All individuals are advised to consult nearest specialists.
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Ifyouwereme
i want to make it manageable but now i dont know what to so anymore i feel so helpless.
I have no idea
Zoya Ahmad
What has been happening? What issues have you been facing?
Disclaimer:- Nature of all the advices provided on this platform including Expert’s are for general information only because complete detailed clinical work up of individual not done. These advices in their all aspects are not substitute for Professional Medical Consultation and are not valid for MLC (Medico-Legal cases). All individuals are advised to consult nearest specialists.
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Ifyouwereme
So basically my sisters were looking after me all these year from the age of 14 and it wasn't easy even then I was said some mean stuff like I should have died with my dad and I am burden my mom also says the same and now I just graduated and got a job which hardly pays me anything and I am suppose to pay them a lot more than my actual salary and since I kept like 1-2k with me they stopped giving me food legit and idk what to do anymore I still get to hear a lot of stuff and taunts
Zoya Ahmad
This is not the way anyone should respond to their family members.
Why don’t you ask them what is the problem that bothers them about you, maybe you can mould it a bit. Ask them politely.
Put forward your point that you also have your personal expenses that needs to managed, you are willing to contribute in the house.
What you are looking for is respect. Be polite and assertive of what your expectations are and ask them about theirs.
Disclaimer:- Nature of all the advices provided on this platform including Expert’s are for general information only because complete detailed clinical work up of individual not done. These advices in their all aspects are not substitute for Professional Medical Consultation and are not valid for MLC (Medico-Legal cases). All individuals are advised to consult nearest specialists.
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Ifyouwereme
Yes I tried all of that I have the major issue is that they were expecting me to give them money and of my salary which is not possible and also they have a problem because we have the difference of 10 years when she started earning she had to give all of her money because dad was their to fulfil her need and we were in small town so there were no such expenses now we are in a very big city and I have been trying to understand and ask them what do they want but they just send me away with nasty comments and all they want is money
Zoya Ahmad
Are you willing to contribute? You can ask them that you can take care of few things.
Disclaimer:- Nature of all the advices provided on this platform including Expert’s are for general information only because complete detailed clinical work up of individual not done. These advices in their all aspects are not substitute for Professional Medical Consultation and are not valid for MLC (Medico-Legal cases). All individuals are advised to consult nearest specialists.
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Ifyouwereme
i do i am giving all of it
Zoya Ahmad
Talk to them, and tell how much you are willing to contribute. This is the best you can do. They should also understand that the living conditions now are different and you have your personal expenses as well.
Disclaimer:- Nature of all the advices provided on this platform including Expert’s are for general information only because complete detailed clinical work up of individual not done. These advices in their all aspects are not substitute for Professional Medical Consultation and are not valid for MLC (Medico-Legal cases). All individuals are advised to consult nearest specialists.
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Ifyouwereme
i so wish they could i have been trying from a long time now i am gonna just wait until i die which is the only way my things can be easy i cant even leave house because i might not be able to survive
avid_reader
1
It might be a good idea to involve a trusted adult from your extended family. You can ask them to intervene on your behalf or maybe let you stay with them for some time. Having to pay back your parents what they paid for your education is hurtful. I'm so sorry you're being put through an ordeal like this
Zoya Ahmad
1
You can come out of it. You are very courageous. Trust yourself, you have a job and you are independent. Don’t think that you’re any less.
Try one more time this time more politely, try to explain what are your problems. You are already doing the best you can. They should also respect and acknowledge the efforts you are putting in.
Disclaimer:- Nature of all the advices provided on this platform including Expert’s are for general information only because complete detailed clinical work up of individual not done. These advices in their all aspects are not substitute for Professional Medical Consultation and are not valid for MLC (Medico-Legal cases). All individuals are advised to consult nearest specialists.