unable to communicate ones feeling with anyone
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I have been upset (I guess) for past 1 year or may be more. I want to talk to my friends and family but I am not able to because I have lost trust in everyone. My boyfriend is going through some family issues so, I can't say him even. I was upset with my result and has lost faith in myself. My friends and family would joke about my dreams and now I am believing it and I can't take it anymore, I feel like I can't do anything and I am bad at everything. I am not able to get hold of myself. I have been using phone to distract myself and I scored not as good as I wanted to. I got admission in not so known college and I can't even take admission in management quota in a nice college because of money issues. And I really don't want to get stuck in this college for 4 years, when my friends talk about their colleges I feel so left out and I can't even tell them how I am feeling and what I am feeling because they will think I am jealous. Just because I didn't get any nice college my family taunts me and that make me even more sick and I am not able to hold it in. I feel like dying however I am not strong enough to take that step. But if these insecurities are going to continue, my brain won't be able to take it

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