unable to cope up with past experiences of breakup
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I was 16 when i shifted to my aunty's house foe higher studies. There was nobody to hear me, take care of me like my mom. I misses my mom a lot but there was nobody, i used to cry in the bathroom with the shower open, she used to shout at me if i cry. Then i tried to find happiness outside, but because i was innocent and a bit dumb people used to play tricks on me. I felt in love with a guy in college, but he 1st rejected me. In the mean time, because of the influence of my other friends, i accepted a proposal of a guy, who really take care of me (i think so) but when i said yes, i get to know that he just want my body and i was not ready. When he wasn't physically satisfiedh he started ignoring me and eventually broke up. I committed a suicide but failed, later i knew he was physically involved with some other girl during our relationship. The 1st guy on which i had crush on before entered in my life again. We became good friends and i realised i still love him, so i proposed and this time he said yes. He turned my life into fairytale, he cares for me a lot, like a baby, he was my smile,my safe place, my everything, i trusted him more than myself. But after ending my college when i returned to my hometown for 3 months i get to know he is moving away. Few weeks later i got a text that he wants break up. Before that we already had fights and always i beg for him, but this time i didn't. When i saw him with another girl i realized what i lost. Its been 3 years, but i still love him. I don't respect him as he lied about that girl, as well as i don't trust him but i still love him. Now I'm 24 and my parents are telling me to marry, but i can't love anyone else. I just changed totally after him, i become introvert and self centered. I tried to be with some guys but i lost interest after 2 months. I can't trust or love someone now. What can i do? I want to get out of my this situation, i want to be happy with someone too. Please help. I tried to say my parents but they are not understanding my feelings. Please help me

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