unable to cope with a break up

Anxiety

Depression

Relationship Issues

So, I'm 23 and I never dated anyone before.. last jan I met a guy, we both were colleagues in office ... Became frnds and then fell in love... We both were really into each other... In March lockdown happened I went to my home town it became long distance, that was not a problem though... He shifted to different city earlier he was in Delhi... 2-3 months earlier his parents started to force him to get Married, everything was going fine between us... He asked his parents to wait later told about me.. Bt his parents denied to wait... And I can't get married abhi because I'm too young for this, I have career goals to fulfill plus I have a elder sister who will be getting married by end of this year.. And above all I'm not ready for marriage at all... So he is probably getting married in next 3-4 months... And it's kind of over as we don't have any option left... So, this is getting so much for me... I unable to accept the fact that things are over, even though I'm trying... Bt I'm getting continuous nervous breakdown... I'm living with my family and can't share my exact situation.. I scare of getting up in the morning because I will have those same thoughts about him... I'm Trying to get over the things bt all this is getting very difficult specially the morning time my emotions and thoughts are on peak.... I'm trying everything to keep me distracted and busy but this is not really helping me out.

gloomyBobolink6

5 Answers

Zoya Ahmad

Hey! Thanks for reaching out. I am sure this must be really difficult for you to deal with. Heart breaks are difficult to deal with, but you’re clear about what you want in life. Then you should just try to accept this. Talk to him have your closure and prepare your mind. These feelings are bound to happen, you will have to acknowledge this feeling first. It’s okay to feel this way, because clearly you have invested yourself in this thing. During the day try to keep yourself busy. Have your priorities set and focus on them. Look for a bigger picture. Feel that you have taken a decision about yourself, this is really courageous of you. Cherish the good memories you have and try to move ahead.

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Hey, zoya thanks for your suggestion.. Means a lot but keeping myself busy isn't really helping me much, I'm filled with his thoughts almost all the time.... Specially during night when I try to sleep, I filled with our past memories and I have a question like why did this happen?

Also to add upon these nervous breakdowns are so worse... I keep crying for hours all alone, just with a thought that this will help me in letting everything go. Bt these crying session makes me have a strong pain in the chest! Is that normal?

Have you tried talking to him? Try to end things on a good note. If you don’t want this to happen then talk to him about how you guys can make things work. Crying over the memories isn’t going to help you rather cherish it. You can forever be good friends with each other and cherish what you had. It’s not always necessary whoever you fall in love with you will end up with them as well. Try to be grateful. Excessive crying actually causes chest pain. Feeling of chest sinking due to anxiety is also normal. But whenever you feel such a pain try deep breathing and try to calm yourself. Convince yourself positive affirmations.

If you are having difficulty in sleeping try some physical activity during the day.

help me please

how do I change for the better?

difficult tym after breakup