Didi mujhe laga tha ki agar m thora wait karungi to shayad move on karlungi pr bhot confusing sa ho gaya h sab Jab tak m ghar p thi mujhe laga ki mai apne partner ki death wale incident se heal jo rahi hun matlab sab thik sa ho gya tha na mujhe yaad aati thi aur mai zayada roti bhi ni thi Pr jab se m hostel aai hun sab phle jaise ho gya h 2 din bhi thik se ni nikalte firse bhot yaad aati h rona aata h mood to humesha hi kharab rehta h Aur ab m apne roommate se bhi bhot irritate hoti hun mujhe na bhot negative vibes aati h unse pr vo log bure bhi ni h bs m hi bhot irritable ho gai hun Aur move on to ghanta ni ho raha.. na mujhse present situation m raha ja raha h aur na hi kisi aur se connect ho raha....jaise ek ladke se baat bhot karti hun and all but I can't think of him in this way mujhe aise lagta h ki other than my ex partner I cannot see somebody else that way relationship to chod hookup wale way m bhi ni Mujhe aise lag raha h ki im stuck somewhere I don't even know.... My life is like a state of oblivion Life se bhot hi deattached sa lag raha h Na mujhe friends k sath rehna acha lagta h kyunki sabki life bhot sorted aur somewhat happy so lagti h which is kind of depressing, aur agar m akele rahun to bhi bs rona aata h ya soi rehti hun zabki phle m as a hobby drawing karti thi pr ab mera man kuch bhi karne k ni karta bhot hi depressing sa lagta h Kuch bhi karne h man ni karta aise khud ko force karna padta h kuch karne k liye dressup hone ko bahar jane ko communicate karne ko Padhne ko Ab to mera man nahane ko bhi man ni karta h phle m atleast roz sham ko nahati thi College jane k man bhi ni hota classes bs islea lagati hun kyunki hostel m mood off hojata h Bhot helpless sa lagta h.. ghar pe bhi sab fucked up sa h