I can't sleep, I don't feel hungry much, I don't wanna get out of bed, I don't wanna talk, I just don't wanna step outside my room. I have got reasons to live, I've got the whole world to conquer yet I feel so disoriented and distracted. I'm aware of what I'm doing yet I don't have this motivation to stop this self-destruction I'm indulging in. I tried distracting myself, watching favorite series, peeking through good memories before he was the part of my life... I even tried being my old self. I don't feel satisfaction in anything. I know what can make me disconnect from this but I'm just not able to take this leap. I want to move on and I know exactly how... but my grief ogf losing him is overpowering me. I don't want my life to be wasted yet I'm wasting every moment of it. I don't know how to process it and get out of it... I don't know how to get out of bed and be my normal self. I don't know how to get myself to move on. Despite of being aware of my directions and goals I feel like such a lost cause!