unable to forget the person once in a relationship with

Relationship Issues

I loved a boy 4 years ago when we were in 8th std..i asked him out and he said a yes..then the relation continued for 4 months and he broke up without telling me any reason..i was soo broken and after sometime he got into a new relationship..i asked him a hell lot of times why he leave me but he never answered...then i heard him in a new relationship many times but all those times it were the girls who broke him..and finally a year ago he came back to me told he realized his mistake nd was sorry for what he did..he asked me to forget everything and start a new...i agreed but as we were in 11th we decided that we would be frnds now nd would start a relation once we get to the college as this was the time to concentrate ok our careers...but late in march he suddenly stopped talkinh to me...i got angry too nd stopped talking with him...he told i had a bad attitude...nd when i asked him why we were ignoring each other he just texted that he dont start again...i said i was sorry but still he just ignored that nd its been 2 months we didnt talk...i thought nd kept telling myself i m stronger but now i m breaking...i dont know what it is...is this that they call love?will i ever be able to forget him? Will he come back? What if i forget him and he comes back? Will he leave again aftet that? Or did i lost him again this time forever? All i know is i cant live without him

Aavni

4 Answers

Sahitya MG

Hi Aavni I understand moving on from a breakup and again relapsing can be a tough call. As you have aldready mentioned that ' this was a time to concentrate on career' ,it would be bewildering if you try to follow the same. Since you have aldready given him a chance along with certain boundaries. You can try analyse your relationship with this person . Ask yourself if your boundaries and self respect was respected ? If not then you might have to make tough call that this person might be toxic for your mental health. Since there is a evidence on what went wrong in your 1st encounter with him , you can try to mindful on the patterns and loop holes which occurred in past should not further continue in future.

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No like he respected me and cared for me a lot...even when we had the breakup the first time he was concerned that i am always alright and dont do anything to harm myself...the second time he was around he apologized greatly nd he had told that he never wanted to do a breakup before so i asked him why so..nd he just replied that sometimes there are things u dont want to do but still have to. So all this is very confusing...means i dont know whats in his mind...he doesn't want me nd he cant stand seeing me with someone else. I m not even sure if i want him back...atleast thats what i lie to myself

Also he never ever made ne uncomfortable or to he Frank enough he didnt even touch me nd..while i could see my other frnds in relationships nd how bad all it was....he was aware that i loved him a lot nd still do....but he never used that against me to do something inappropriate

I understand your confusion Aavni. Be calm and relax yourself first. Try to write down what you are feeling and thinking and then analyse where you are heading to. What you are seeking ? What you want? Also try to analyse your thoughts. then try to ask him why is he behaving in a particular what does he want? For that to happen first you have to be clear on where you are heading with this whole situation.

Frustrating

help me please

how do I change for the better?