9 years is a very long time. It will not just vanish in a go. It will take time. Try to accept and process it. Try to acknowledge the feeling and tell yourself that it is going to be okay.

I can understand how we feel low on some days. 9 years is a lengthy period! Moving on is going to take a lot of time. But with will power, you can do it. It is good that you have accepted the non existence of a possible future. The next move is to keep yourself occupied in studies/work, whatever it is that you do. Pursue a hobby, do what you love, hang out with your friends. Make sure you're never idle. As you start enjoying your day to day activities, the satisfaction at the end of the day will serve as a motivation for the next day.