unable to maintain friendships
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I m 20 now I wanna share two incidents of my life which has affected my mental state very much Firstly I m a guy means male It was of when I was 14 I entered in my 10th standard I never had many friends but That Year two boys approached me for friendship I was very happy that Somebody wants to be my friends It was a good friendship We enjoyed for 2 months till then I got to know that One of those friends actually does friendship with me bcoz He likes my sister who also studies with me in same standard She is 1 year older than me I somehow got to know that She likes my sister Then I started to be away from him Once He came with His bestie which was also my friend and 2 other boys to meet me I casually met him then after a while his bestie said Ask your sister to be my gf It was a mind blank situation for me My mind stopped working and I didnt know what I thought I got away from there without saying anything After That I cried that whole night that how can someone say like that and even that to her brother I got totally broken then After 10 days He met me in market When I saw him I straight said him to Go away and never ever try to talk to me After Sometime He came with 4-5 boys and called me I refused to come by saying I have some work They Went Then I complaint about it to my mom and dad and my dad went to that bestie father who was SDM of my town Then I also next day Calls my nominal friends and they talk on a compro and the matter closed After 2 years When I left my town that friend called me and told me I wanna talk to your sister I yelled at him saying Are you Completely Mad He said everybody at my home knew about it I blocked his number and next day I called him and asked what was you saying Last night He simply said nothing I was just inviting you to hang up with me bcoz i m in your city I told him ok We will hang up next time And After that I started Ignoring her But Now these two incidents Are not getting vanished from my brain These Incidents haunts me every another day Bcoz It reminds me that I was that Coward that I even not punched him for what they said I am ashamed of myself and the outcome of these incidents is that I began fearing of Physical fights Now The state is I can fight with anyone verbally but scared of physical fights due to which i dont even fight with anyone verbally Now Can You tell me what was my fault in all this ? I have lost belief in word name friendship.....

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