Hi Shakti, I want to firstly let you know how brave you are to be speaking about this where many of us sometimes repress our emotions and don't try to acknowledge disturbing moments of our past. Childhood is seen to be the most influencing factor in an individual's life. All of us are shaped heavily by the experiences we live through while growing up and the immediate care takers like our parents and grandparents are the people we depend on to love and nurture us. I am sorry your childhood wasn't the most perfect but let me tell you, you are not alone. Everyone of us has something that wasn't perfect while growing up. I understand when you say you aren't close to your mother. In the society we live in, sugar coats everything. It only talks about the amazing mother daughter relationships but never acknowledges that in many cases they don't share the best of the relationships and that is normal. I don't share a very close relationship with my mother and it is not our faults because they brought us in this world. The way people behave is not a result of you but a result of their own inner selves. The physical abuse you encountered while growing up from the people only came out of their unresolved issues and traumas. Their frustrations and their pain which they released on you. Shakti, you're a brave soul and you do realize that we cannot change what is done but we can definitely change the way we proceed now. So 5 years from now when you look back in to this phase of your life you're happy that you did the best you could and handled yourself so well even after the traumatic experiences you went through. Psychological effects of abuse needs to be addressed and a I highly recommend you to take therapy. It will heal you in ways you wouldn't have been able to imagine. I will just conclude by saying that forgive the people who hurt you if you can. They weren't perfect and they're as human as we are. Maybe they didn't get their issues resolved ever that's why it turned them the way they turned out. But you Shakti, you have a choice. You have a choice to be different. You have a choice to be the best and someone who outshone even after having a family history that was different. When you love nurture and care for someone you will find yourself healing too because you'll give someone what you wanted at a point in life. Please get back to us again and I'd love to hear your progress. Take care!

@bestbud after 12th standard to moved to another city to pursue my graduation.. The way they behaved and they treated me when I was far away from them surprised me and I thought that things have changed... I was ready to forgive them and forget everything and made a decision to pursue my post grad from the same state where my mom and dad lived. And I got another shock, things got even worse.. I spent 2 years at home again and in those two years I suffered from mental torture (abusive language and things which nobody would say to their kid).. I dint wanted to lose them so I thought moving away again from them so that I could atleast maintain the relationship. But I having a superficial support from family somewhere makes us feel empty.. Everything seems to be fake and I can never actually talk to them about anything.. I am at home at present because of lockdown, and my grandmother is mentally unhealthy, and my father and mother abuses her and everybody in the family and all I can do is raise my voice against them and shut them up.. If this was past, I would have got over it.. But I have to live with it every single day of my life, whether I stay with them or not. I even tried talking to them about this but after looking at their response I never opened my mouth in front of them again (as they denied all my complaints and had audacity to tell me that they have not done anything like that they have not done any physical or mental harm to me or anybody in the family) Not only this, because of this I think if my own parents can do this to me than anybody in this world can take me for granted due to which I fail in my love life as well.. I have commitment issues, I unintentionally love inflicting pain to others when I am upset.. I don't want to get married because I have lost that trust from the concept of a marriage or a family.. I think that like my mother and father I will also break my husbands family. I will ruin my kids future as well... P. S - I am not a person who keeps cribbing, (if you thought so after reading my story and comments, nobody except my sister and a bit of it my bf knows what I really feel inside. For others I am cool and strong women who knows how to deal with everything)

Dear Shakti, you seem to be struggling with a lot of trauma. Having gone through this kind of abuse from your father and neglect from your mother leaves its mark. It's commendable that you have tried to pick up the pieces and make a better life for yourself. That is truly admirable. Please don't give up on that. With that said, needs to be addressed and you need to heal from your past. I would strongly urge you to reach out for therapy to help you do that. You are brave to have been through all of this and still work to move on. Please know that you are not alone. There is help if you need it.

Hey shakti, You have chosen a name which is totally apt for you given the situation you are going through. Your parents behaviour is characterised by things they have experienced in past and it's become a norm for them. So if you try to make them realise about things they are doing wrong, they will never accept that. I am glad you can totally tell the difference between such things. Do not let these things affect your mental state. Just try to avoid conflicting things at your home. Sometimes avoiding situations is the best we can do. Not everyone are like them. Surround yourself with positive attitude people. You will come out strong. May the force be with you.

Thank you for the support. We'll you know you you cannot always avoid and move on the reality.. If this happens on daily basis in your life then somehow you lose hope... @hansa shaunik I think i won't be able to make it without your help.