Will I ever change or will I stay the same?

Question

I recently cheated on my boyfriend with several guys, we talked about it and we agreed we would work on it together, but as the days go by, it feels like I keep on making it worse. I've been through abusive experiences and I identified that I have narcissistic tendencies on too of having depression and anxiety. I just want to be the right one for him, but I haven't done much progress and I'm afraid I'll get worse instead of better. I just want to forgive myself and continue, and be the right one for him, I regret doing it, I feel so ashamed.

Resist · Answer

bro just getting his payback and I don't blame him

FrenzyPants · Answer

i've always thought cheating is a choice. so, if you are mindful and willing to control that urge, you can change.

Resist · Answer

ong bro

asantoyo · Answer

I think it's important to clarify that I'm a gay guy

Resist · Answer

wtf forget I said anything...

Resist · Answer

imma just leave later

FrenzyPants · Answer

why is sexual orientation important in cheating cases though. makes no difference.

asantoyo · Answer

I clarified because the people who commented after you started saying controversial things about women.

FrenzyPants · Answer

oohh got it.

Frustrating

help me please

how do I change for the better?