greetings. I am dating a widower he is 39yrs old who has 2 girls. we've been dating for about 7 months now. I understand that the wife will always be in their heart and that they will always love her, I also understand that they miss her. however sometimes I struggle with mY emotions, when he posts the wife on his whatsapp status, or when the girls post their mom and dad's pictures (only when it's both mom and dad) I can't help but feel jealous, I feel like I'm his side chick. how do I work on my emotions and not feel somehow when I see the kids post their parents and also when he posts the wife's pictures on his status ( we'll he has requested to post it once a year on her death anniversary and I agreed). I seem to be struggling with having control over my emotions. please help

Question

greetings. I am dating a widower he is 39yrs old who has 2 girls. we've been dating for about 7 months now. I understand that the wife will always be in their heart and that they will always love her, I also understand that they miss her.    however sometimes I struggle with mY emotions, when he posts the wife on his whatsapp status, or when the girls post their mom and dad's pictures (only when it's both mom and dad) I can't help but feel jealous, I feel like I'm his side chick.            how do I work on my emotions and not feel somehow when I see the kids post their parents and also when he posts the wife's pictures on his status ( we'll he has requested to post it once a year on her death anniversary and I agreed).     I seem to be struggling with having control over my emotions. please help

exactingPlover5 · Answer

I think you should give him time to get over her. She was his life partner and it is not easy for him and also for his kids no one replace a mother. put yourself in their shoes and support them in this phase. Give them some time to overcome this issue.

bubblegum2022 · Answer

he said he doesn't need therapy because he has healed however he doesn't want to ignore her death anniversary. also he can't control what the kids post.  I also don't want them to stop posting their parents but I just want to find ways to deal with my own emotions, without acting like I'm selfish or insensitive.

bubblegum2022 · Answer

@exactingPlover5 ...thank you. I will try.

thedarksoul30 · Answer

Have uh confessed your feelings to him. A healthy relationship is when there's clear cut communication try talking to him about your emotions spend time with the girls. I m sure those girls need a mother touch a friend to try connecting to them everything going to be all okay.

bubblegum2022 · Answer

@thedarksoul30... yes I communicated with him about ho I am feeling. that when he asked to please post it atleast once a year her death anniversary and I agreed that he can.     I guess I'm just struggling controlling my emotions

thedarksoul30 · Answer

It's okay nothing wrong honestly ur the best and strongest person. This is just a suggestion I don't know if I am right or wrong but just know she isn't coming back she'll be in their memories but it's you who is with them in their happiness or sad days just know she left for. good and gifted uh with a family maybe this helps and makes you feel good

thedarksoul30 · Answer

whenever you feel overwhelmed or you struggling with your emotions just know she is the past but you are the present and future just counter-attack ur own thoughts I m sure this will help you to balance your emotions

bubblegum2022 · Answer

@thedarksoul30. thanks a lot.

help me please

difficult tym after breakup