why do you want to?

hey, how u feeling

everything feels black and white. I feel very helpless, i became a person who only smiles and laughs and when im at my lowest i have nobody to lean onto. The world is make me feel like i am not worthy to be here on earth. I want to exchange my soul with my dad, he deserves to be here and i don't. Everyone needs him, and i want him here. I am not loved, i am just a piece of shit. I really wish i should've passed away and not him.

join me let's run away

your the most worthy..u just don't know it..and no every body deserves to live even if u don't want to i understand u need him with u but think about it he will be hurt to see u like this cause for him u were very imp and precious prsn and no one deserves to die if ur feeling worst I'm here to listen my friend..i understand the feeling of being alone and trust me when I say ur not alone

and i can't even tell anyone that i am going through shit. I can't even be sad infront of them cause for them it's funny, or just a drama. I can't express myself because they'll just tell me to understand everything. I have been always the understanding one and im tired, no one is even siding with me. I can't even think about myself because growing up, everyone around me is making me feel like im selfish when i think about myself, and what they dont know is i never did, i never thought about myself and im tired of keeping all this shit inside of me.

nobody even asks me how am i doing. I feel like i am bringing everyone down with me when i don't function like how i used to everyday, nobody understands that im tired, nobody understands that i need just a minute to breakdown, that i need to take a break, they'll always gaslight me making me feel like i am being a burden. Everything feels like shit and i can't even turn away because i love them, after all the breakdowns ill just pretend like nothing happened and be back to how i usually act

it's ok u can tell me about it no need to bottle it all up and in addition ur are not selfish if u are thinking for urself ppl only say what they believe or how they are themselves no need to take their words no need to fake ur emotions in front of anyone just be you..i understand sometimes we need someone to tell us that we are not selfish for caring about ourselves and tell us that it's ok to be not ok we don't always have to be the understanding one and I'm here to tell u that

see that's the mistake we all do by not letting our emotions show u need to tell them to stop sometimes u need to learn to say no sometimes if u don't then they will only take u for granted